Not forgotten...

Hugging a friend in which you were not certain you would ever see again...is an excellent way to end a day! I got to visit tonight with a couple people I met on the Romania mission trip back in 2006. One in which was visiting from Romania.

On more than one occasion as he was speaking about new ministries that have bloomed as a result of our trip...and the impact they were having on the orphans...I found myself placing my hand on my chest to cover an aching heart. Instantly reminded of the broken yet joyful spirit Romania uncovered.

One orphanage closed...I wonder...what happened to Bogdan...to Geta..to Ana Maria? Heartbreak...

A new Community Development Center has been opened, where for the first time children are learning how to use silverware, to shower, to enjoy hot food, to be loved. And then there are the girls of Zau...the orphanage that captured all of our hearts. Not only did the girls finally get a chance to leave the confines of "the hill" and explore countryside beyond the walls of their orphanage but now they have weekly life skills and Bible lessons...week long getaways...and soon transitional housing to help them break out of the cycle laid before them. Joy...

And the guy that inspired this all...a fellow trip participant...is the same guy I shared a late night conversation with on the couch in the lobby of a Romanian hotel. "I feel like God is calling me to do more...I can't go home and forget about these kids." He certainly didn't.

"So what do you think of the US so far Dacian?" I asked. He responds with a Romanian accent and slightly broken English, "I like the homes, but too much money goes into them, there are rooms nobody use, this is just my opinion." I suspect when you have the blessing of introducing a child to running water and hot food for the first time...it makes our sitting rooms seem absurd. :)

With words like consumerism and excess running wild in my head...I pulled onto the interstate to head home. But mid-way through the entry ramp...I literally stopped to take in the view of two enormous American flags billowing in the night breeze. As I marveled at the stars and stripes...only one thought remained...we are a blessed people...perhaps a fact often forgotten.

Pictures...

Now that I have come clean with my mother...I can share that our van windows got shot out. :) No worries, looks like a pellet gun or BB gun so it sounds worse than what it actually is. No one was driving them when it happened...no suspects (solidified our need for security cameras). Just another chance to mingle with the city police.

A couple months back, the cops accidentally got called from the center. After we sorted out the confusion, the officer stayed briefly to shoot hoops with the kids...and I thought what a nice reconciliation picture this painted.

Our picture will continue to evolve, to take shape, to gain color and texture. While I may not know where to direct the strokes...I'm happy to be holding a brush.

Who are you not to be?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~Marianne Williamson

Why are we so often tempted to play small?

Fear of rejection? Fear of failure? Fear of being brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Fear of appearing too confident?

Who is our smallness serving?

I’ve spent the majority of my life perhaps seemingly unapproachable...or not openly approaching others. The whole time I'm likely appearing self-centered to the rest of the world...I'm really feeling insecure. But then I had to ask...what are these insecurities centered around...to which the glaring reality surfaced...they are in fact centered around...me.

When you work with teens, this playing small is not serving. I must put my own insecurities aside and let my light shine...in order to give them permission to do the same.

I started attending an inner-city church plant and experienced this firsthand as people boldly broke out of their molds, crossed the room, and welcomed me. During services yesterday we visited the book of Hebrews...”Let us boldly approach the throne of grace...”

...unconsciously giving others permission to do the same.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

In the beginning...

I can't begin to share the impact these kids and this ministry has had on my life. Truthfully if I had known the challenges I would face in the beginning...I would have kept my feet planted firming on the ground. But...I wonder if I’d still be standing in the same place.

He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles ~C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

In the beginning...He created us...for more.

I share with you a video...created by an extraordinary friend and incredibly talented volunteer...

I share with you these kids...

who I would have missed
had I known the challenges...

in the beginning.

Created...for you

I felt a subtle tugging at my pant leg and looked down from the stage...Katia peered up from her place on the floor..."Here Brandy...I made this for you." As quietly as she had come forward...she retreated. I looked down at the paper in my hands and read "God created the world...for you." Forgetting about rehearsal and the role I was playing, I instantly leaped from the stage and scooped her up in my arms.

We are preparing for our annual fundraising banquet. With kids and programs and schedules to balance...it is easy to get caught up in the practical tasks of ministry...and forget what remains at the heart of it all...relationships.

This seems to be the theme of this past week as I've realized I've allowed tasks and ministry to overshadow anything that resembled life. And even my ministry has been reduced to the next task that needs accomplished.

In staff meeting yesterday we discussed if we have allowed anything to become our golden calf...any idols we have placed in front of God. Somebody chimed in with an interesting perspective. "Sometimes I think I put the ministry in front of God himself...because I am doing his work...I don't take time just for him." Hmmmmmm.... My devotion today read "Have you ever experienced a unique time of usefulness to God, then found that in a very short time you had gotten quite far from him? Perhaps it was because you became overwhelmed with your service to God rather than with God himself."

As I look down at Katia's artwork this morning...I read the simplicity of her words..."God created the world...for you"...period. Not "for you to accomplish...for you to reach...for you to achieve" No...it ends with a period.

While I'm positive God will continue to provide opportunities to serve...sometimes we need someone to interrupt our oh-so-busy lives and remind us...God created the world...for you.