Sending Lexus...

In a culture where we've seemingly dropped the moral ball...it's refreshing when a feel good story comes our way...because the truth of the matter is...we still love big stories -- especially when they are true.

We love when the underdog wins...extravagant generosity prevails...hope is restored and lives are changed.

These stories captivate us as they are told on the big screen or dance across our news feeds.

But do you know how those stories are written?

One day at a time...in the seemingly trivial details...from people just like you and me...

They are written when we choose to engage in the lives of those who may outlive our own.

Big stories are pieced together...

     when small details collide.

Unfolding as big screen possibilities...

     only after they become daily realities.

Would you like to write one such story with me?

Her name is Lexus.  Created to bring vibrant colors to His world...

But the prologue asks us to first paint the color of hope across hers.

She was a 12-year-old girl, helping her mom run children's programming the summer of 2007.  I was a farm girl fresh in my faith and fresh out of my John Deere career -- pretending like I knew what I was doing in urban ministry (I assure you I did not).  I led the kiddos in Jesus stories and song and I-surely-hope-not-dance.  She thought my voice was annoying and was not impressed by my dance moves but I convinced her to sign up for summer camp nonetheless.  Hiking the woods by day and counting the stars by night was much more my forte than those city streets ever would be.  I taught her how to swim...and the rest is history...she's been teaching me ever since...

• What it means to mentor a young girl...
• How to live a life in a manner worth following... (by following Christ)
• When to pray instead of offering advice...
• How to share the darkest details of my past...knowing it would impact her future
• And most importantly how to laugh at myself and my white-girl dance moves and embarrass her with my misused street slang

After 6 years, I hope I've left a mark on her for the cause of Christ...but the truth of the matter is...she's done the same for me.  It's the way our Father designed it to be.

She has a dream...to be an artist...to bring glory and honor to His name through the talents He's gifted her.

And in our hands we hold the palette of hope...

          the pen to this story.

Will you put it to the paper and write with me?

----------------------------------------------------

I've committed to sponsor Lexus to attend the American Academy of Art in Chicago to refine her God-given talent.

What does this support look like?

• 3 remaining tuition payments of $1318.50 each (due the 1st of November, January and March)
• 7 remaining housing payments of $895 each (due the 1st of each month through May)

Through much determination and prayer - Lexus was accepted, enrolled and is now attending this school.  We diligently sought and prayed for a more affordable housing option - and when none came - we walked through the only door that opened.  In full disclosure - I freaked out after taking on this kind of financial burden...and I only found peace when the Lord quietly spoke to my soul..."I will provide as it is needed."

Maybe you are part of answering this prayer?  Will you help send Lexus through school?

• I've opened a separate checking account (in my name) to manage her tuition and housing expenses.  I'm trusting that by the time I need to write each check, the money will be there through the contribution of myself and others.  If you would like to contribute any amount, one-time or monthly, it would be greatly appreciated.  I will share full transparency with all donors as requested.  Please note, these donations are not tax-deductible.
• As an alternative, if the Lord gives you a special burden and you feel like pouring out extravagant generosity to cover an entire tuition or rent payment - those payments could be made directly to the school or housing facility.  Since payments must be made in their entirety - anything less will likely need to be routed through the checking account so I can process the full payments.  However, if you feel more comfortable giving directly - I'll work with you to find a solution.

That's all folks.  That's the story we're writing.  Please spread the word and let me know if you can help write a chapter!  

Contact info:  Please email me at brandychaffer@gmail.com for all inquiries and commitments so I can provide additional information.

Wrestling for Truth

I didn't set out to change the world - not even my little corner of it.  I simply decided to follow Jesus - and that made all the difference.

There are some scriptures that need to be lived...breathed...touched...wrestled...before they can ever be appreciated or understood.

I've long wrestled with Matthew16:24-26...

Then Jesus said to his disciples,  "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, and yet forfeit their soul?  Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?

For as long as I can remember all I ever really wanted to be was a farm wife and mom (well ok besides the occasional obsession with becoming an FBI Special Agent)...and yet that barefoot and pregnant train derailed as soon as it pulled away from the station.

While some dreams die hard - others refuse to die.

And yet the pages of my story continue to turn and the trajectory of my life has been radically altered.  For as it turns out God has in fact enlisted me to change the world...to help bring His Kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven.  And so I've set out to breathe light onto the streets of my community and change the face of African agriculture.  It looks nothing like I expected...more than I could have ever imagined...and yet ever different from the dreams of my heart.  It's living in this space...between the broken dreams and the new purpose...where the scriptures comes to life.

It's the place where I pick up my cross daily...

          ...to follow Him

Where I lose my life...

          ...only to be found

Where I seek first His kingdom...

          ...trusting the needed things will be given to me

And where I delight myself in Him...

          ...knowing He will give me the desires of my heart.

Traveon and Tyvon overlooking Lake Michigan

I wonder...will you meet me here?

Are you living in the unknown...the space in between...

standing on the edge of the cliff and staring out across the fog.







Sometimes there aren't easy answers...there is only choosing to press in, to live, breathe, touch and wrestle (with the scriptures)
   
          until they are not only true on the page...but have become true in your heart.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Matthew 6:33

Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalm 37:4

He's coming for you

Trying to introduce you to a relationship with Jesus is not the same thing as narrow-mindedly pushing my beliefs on you.  But I know sometimes it can come across that way.  And I'm sorry for the bad experiences you've had...with me...or other Christians...or the church.  I think the most devastating realization a true believer in Jesus Christ will ever have is if we come to find our actions have somehow led anyone further away from Christ.  I shudder the thought.

But the truth of the matter is...we probably have.  We're human...we're broken...we make mistakes.  The only thing that sets us apart is the fact that we've met the One...the only One...who covers all of our iniquities by His grace.

Evangelism is just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.  ~ D. T. Niles 

If I stop trying...I've stopped caring.  And I know you probably don't care -- and wish I would stop.  But. I. Can't.  Not as long as I have breath.

God created you -- for a purpose.

Above all -- to have a relationship with you because He loves you.

And nothing you've done...nothing...negates His endless pursuit of you.  

If you are...

     the poor...the downtrodden...the widow...the orphan...the abused...the passed by...the heartbroken.

If you are...

     the rich...the successful...the sufficient...the everyday normal...the girl next door.

If you are...

     the murderer...the liar...the secret sinner...the addict.

He's coming for you -- to set you free.  Free from sin -- free from the futile -- free from the aimless search to matter...to belong.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.  Romans 8:1-4

And since He recruited me to His team...I'm coming too.*

Regardless of the walls you build - the resistance you give - your indifference and your mockery.

He's coming.

Because He loves you too much to stop.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

*Fellow believers, let us invite the Holy Spirit into our evangelism efforts.  Being Jesus to one person might mean passing a book to an airplane seat companion in one instance and praying for a friend or laying out the Gospel in another.  It doesn't mean we need a bullhorn on a street corner.  Perhaps we should start every morning on our knees -- asking God to use us to reveal Himself to others as He sees fit...to our families...our co-workers...our neighbors...and strangers.  The only formula I know for evangelism...starts with prayer...follows the Holy Spirit...uses our obedience...and God shows up to do the work.  God is chasing His people...we are His mere instruments...let's not get this the other way around.

Our hands to play...

There are a few pivotal hands we'll be dealt in our lifetime...but it's up to us how we play them...if we choose to play them at all.

In the fall of 2006, on a plane headed westward, I returned from a foreign land with my heart completely rocked.  I had spent 10 days on the ground playing and loving the fatherless and orphaned.  At 30,000 feet in the air, I felt like I was ascending from the trenches…yet couldn't shake who i was leaving behind.  Not only the forgotten and abandoned...but the missionaries who had planted themselves there...in the hard places, among the least of these.  In a moment of revelation…I was dealt my pivotal hand...if those missionaries weren't there being the hands and feet of Jesus…who would be?  There wasn't a long line.

In a decision that seemed settled before the beginning of time...I offered the rest of my life to be used by my Heavenly Father…however He suited...in the hard places...on behalf of the least of these.

It was a decision that ultimately led me into neighborhoods I had previously never tread and into foreign lands I'd only read...but most importantly it led me closer to heart of the Father.

Some of us are born into a place of privilege...while others a place of struggle.  May I suggest our Heavenly Father knew exactly what He was doing when He planted you there?  There is a reason for your circumstances...healing for your heartache...and a home for your generosity...

There are purposes for your life that extend far beyond this earth and into the eternal.

But it's your hand...

How will you play it?

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'   

Matthew 25:34-40

The world needs men!

Despite the fact that Traveon slept most of the way through church with his head in my lap, I instigated the routine post-church question when we reached the car..."What is something you learned today?"  To my surprise, he responded without delay...

"The world needs men."

Yeah, we really do.  Godly men.

Our pastor gave a pretty strong call to action for "men to be men" - to lead their lives, wives and families with courage, boldness and conviction.  To serve humbly, out of love and have compassion for the vulnerable.  To be the kind of man worth following.  I think every woman...at least in her spirit...said amen.

I've had a journey with a particular scripture over the past few years.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Ephesians 5:22-24

I imagine doing the first read-over will stir a variety of emotions...it did for me too...so let me tell you where my journey began...

I was probably in my early 20's...a few years before Jesus came on the scene (of my heart)...when I first caught this scripture being read during weddings...and I had but one thought..."I will absolutely not have that scripture read during my wedding."  I very much marched to the beat of the I can do anything you can do better drum and I was certainly not going to sign up for a subpar position on Day 1 of my marriage.

But Jesus...

I have a good friend and sister in Christ who has battled this scripture with me several times over the course of our friendship.  She's had some hang-up's with submission and experienced an abuse of the definition in the past.  Naturally, this is going to raise a red flag.  And then she looks at me, knowing that I'm very driven and strong-willed, and therefore can't understand why I'm at total peace with it.  Not only can I imagine this scripture being read during my wedding someday...but I hope and I pray that my marriage would becoming a living example.

How's that for a 180?

But I'll take it a step further, I actually think a lot of women would be willing...and do I daresay, even desire, to submit to Godly husbands.  And I'm not referring to the guy who merely drags himself to church on Sundays...but rather...the kind of man who refuses to sit on the sidelines...who leads his family with courage and honor...who puts down the childish ways of the world and puts on the ways of God.

Let's keep reading a bit further onto verse 25..."Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Did you catch that?  Christ died for the church.  He loved her. That. Much.  And He calls husbands to love their wives with the same intensity.  I'd imagine submission becomes just a tad bit easier when you've been swept clean off your feet.

When the pastor finished speaking, he invited the men who were making new or renewed commitments to the Lord or to their families...to come to the alter.  And within moments...kneeling...shoulder-to-shoulder...it was lined with men of God.

The world needs these men.

As I was holding back tears, taking in the sight of surrender at the alter, I leaned down and whispered in Traveon's ear..."You are going to break the cycle in your family Traveon, some day you will grow into a courageous man of God...you will be a faithful husband and a devoted father."  He looked up with a continuous nod...wanting the truth of those words to indeed prove true.

You see, he may be growing up fatherless...but he is not without a Father.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.  Ephesians 1:4-5

Happy Father's Day!

Unsafe Territory

I've wanted to be in the FBI, CSI or some form of investigatory law enforcement for as long as I can remember.  But among other factors, I allowed my dad, who likely didn't want his daughter to continually put herself in harms way...to talk me out of it.  I can't help but to think he'd rethink that decision if he could have predicted where I'd end up...continually running into dark places...to spread the light of Christ.  He'd probably prefer I carried a gun.

I don't want the territory where my feet tread to be safe for the kingdom of darkness.  There is a war for our souls on this earth...whether you ever choose to acknowledge it or not.  Our enemy will use whatever tactic necessary to keep us apart from God and move us toward destruction...through sin and bondage...apathy or deception -- he doesn't care which.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy...John 10:10

And so, I want to speak TRUTH where the Father of Lies has spoken...I want to bring freedom for those in captivity...I want to walk in the authority of Christ and disarm the enemy.

And this means running toward the darkness...armed by His grace and illuminated by His glory.

I want to leave everlasting footprints on those He's given me...

Those neighbors who live beside me...the co-workers who work beside me...friends...family...

...airplane seat companions...the hungry...the lost...the broken...even my enemies.

While I often don't get to see how their stories play out...I witness and serve as the Holy Spirit would lead me...sometimes with words...often with actions...fighting for the vulnerable...feeding the hungry...intersecting His Kingdom the moment their path crosses mine...

and trusting Him for those He's 'given' me...

It is a transitional year for many of the dear ones He's put in my path...and I don't know what their futures will bring.  I've been on my knees for these sweet souls with tears streaming down my face more times than I should probably admit...and I'd do anything to keep them safe and protected from the enemy.  But I can not control their decisions, the circumstances which will surround them, or the spiritual journeys they must embark.  I can only take every opportunity our sweet Lord bestows...to reveal Himself...to them....through me. 

I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word.  John 17:6

  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12

Let's move away from boring...

(photo compliments of Holland)

I've had the opportunity recently to share a portion of my story with various youth groups in my community.  Perhaps one invitation in particular summed up the theme..."Can you share your Jesus adventures with the kiddos?"  Jesus adventures...hmmm...it resonated - because that's what they are you know.  Far and away the most exciting and purposeful chapters written in my life...were penned by Him.

But I realize as I write those words, they simply are not true for everyone...and I'm not talking about those who are living apart from Christ...but rather those who are trying to 'do the Christian life' and are quite frankly...bored...or worse yet...defeated.

It makes me ask...why?

I recently finished Perspectives which is a 15-week class with 15 different missional instructors...essentially helping participants understand what is God's purpose in it all...and therefore what is our individual purpose within that larger context.  People say it will ruin you for the ordinary (if Jesus hasn't already done that).  Offered in over 200 locations throughout the U.S. and more around the globe - I'd encourage you to check it out! 

One of our instructors was Brad Buser.  Brad has an energetic testimony that takes him from being a very talented, pot-smoking-California-surfer to a dedicated missionary, giving 20 years of his life making disciples among a previously unreached people group in Papua New Guinea.  But this detail alone isn't actually the most impressive part of his testimony, the part that struck me...was the youth pastor who influenced the radical transformation.  Brad called him Pastor Von...and he didn't describe him as anything particularly flashy or attractive...or even relevant or cool.  Instead, Brad described him by the way he unashamedly challenged his students...to become disciples of Christ and servants of His Kingdom.  I smile as Brad's words echo in my memory..."We don't need to raise any more nice Christian kids, we need servants of the Lord."  According to Brad's testimony, from 1977-1981, over thirty young people were commissioned as missionaries from Von's church.  Brad was one of those students.

Back to the why...

It seems to me that we tend to preach far more on cleaning people up than we do introducing them to the One who does the clean up.  And I get it...in the Christian community, sin makes us nervous...and so we do everything we can to strive for righteousness and try to encourage (just short of force) that righteousness onto our youth.  We're so scared of them falling into the ways of the world that we preach to convict...to keep them on the straight and narrow.  Now please hear me when I say...sometimes we need to hear the hard truth from the pulpit...but I want to take a slightly different spin...what if we trusted the Holy Spirit to do the conviction...and therefore we spent far more time talking about Jesus?

People say I had a radical conversion but in full disclosure, my sinful lifestyle didn't fall off me overnight.  It was a process...and in that process I kept my eyes on Him...not my sin.  And when you're striving for His purposes in your life...your sin tends to pale in comparison...until it seems rather absurd that you'd choose sin...over Him.

Before I began sharing my story, I glanced around the room at the young eyes looking back at me...and I saw them questioning my relevance.  I opened up with a question..."Who has ever been really bored with the Christian life?"

Nearly every honest hand went up...

Yeah...I thought so.

Let's move away from boring.

You see...I believe Jesus' purposes run much deeper than giving us a golden ticket to heaven...I believe his life, death and resurrection were necessary to reconcile our hearts to the Father...and only covered by His blood will we stand righteous before The King.  But I also believe...while on this earth...He has divine purposes designed for me...designed for you.  And those purposes may be described as many things...the least of which is...boring.  There is far too much darkness in this world...not to penetrate it with the Light.  And it's in those places where our torches shall burn (both locally and globally)...that we will find the greatest Jesus adventures.  And somewhere amid those adventures...from a place of truly being used by Him...we realize we are serving and do I daresay loving a holy God...and so we delight to respond...with righteousness.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.  Ephesians 2:10

...and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.  Philippians 3:9

Interest piqued?  I'd love to share at your youth group or across the table (with a cup of coffee in hand of course).  I have a passion for mentoring young girls in the Lord and awaking the fire within us all to serve passionately in His Kingdom.  Would love to hear from you!

...but Christ

"You know I used to be a but Christian..." he said.  "You mean your Christian walk merely consisted of sitting on your butt in a church pew each Sunday?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile .  He laughed.  "Well no, but that may have been the result.  No, I mean I would always pray 'but' prayers, 'God I'll do anything, but don't ask me to sell my house...God I'll go anywhere but don't send me to a 3rd world country.' And so I spoke with some of the guys in church about it because I knew it needed to change.  They told me to stop focusing on trying to give things up and instead focus on falling more in love with Christ.  I guess it worked, our house is on the market and I'm willing to go wherever He leads."

That's the heart of it isn't it?  Being in love with Jesus Christ.  I have a friend who occasionally hits the wall of frustration when he can't motivate his church folks to tangibly engage in the service needs of his community.*  You can only strategize, expose the need and develop creative ways to serve so many times...and then you begin to wonder...why isn't this working?  Where is the spirit of Isaiah declaring 'Here I am, send me?'  My only answer would be to shift the focus...away from the need to serve and toward falling more in love with Christ.**  And His love...will absolutely, unashamedly lead people to service...allowing good works to flow from a changed heart vs. obligation...but make no mistake...good works should come...

What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?  So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.  
James 2:14-17

I recently helped with a YouthHope girls' retreat, trading the Rock Island city limits for the fresh air at Camp Summit.  As we were sitting around the camp fire that evening, laughing at the silliness of our game time and allowing space for honest conversation and hurts to surface...I assembled my s'more and watched the fire bounce and reflect in their eyes.

The reflection demanded an answer...why isn't someone from the church (any Christian) mentoring each one of these girls?  They need someone to stand alongside them, doing life and modeling good decisions.  Being the Body of Christ...reflecting Jesus.

Maybe they've been bitten by the 'but' syndrome.  I would...but I'm busy, but I'm scared, but I don't know what I'm doing....but....

 ...but Christ.

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!  2 Corinthians 5:14-17

_____________________

*This same individual is simultaneously blown away by other followers of Christ who radically lay down their lives for the sake of others...

**I'm not saying the church shouldn't provide opportunities to serve, teach the Biblical importance of serving, etc. because I believe they absolutely should.  Rather I hope you can see the heart behind the shift of focus which I'm trying to portray.

He is enough

There's something about the sturdy sculpting of the cross by Isabel Bloom that reminds me of God's unwavering love.  The fact that He's always there...even when we are unaware or unwilling to take notice.  An unshakeable rock.  

When I got home from the World Race, I kind of had this ‘new life’ imagined that the Lord was going to deliver.  My future husband would walk into the pages of my life and together we’d write the remainder of the story together; fulfilling the vision for ministry the Lord had given me, or rather, as we’d come to find…given us.  Well it’s 2013 and while the Lord has blown me away with what He is doing with Field of Hope and my career with John Deere…no husband has picked up the other pen.  One night, early in my impatience…I flat out told the Lord that I knew His Word said that He alone was enough to satisfy…but I didn’t want Him to be.  I wanted my future, all inclusive of the husband…delivered and tied with a bow. 

Let me recommend something to you…never tell the Lord that you don’t want Him to be enough.  I probably walked through the darkest season of my life directly following the utterance of those words.  I don’t know how God views these situations but I feel like He must of looked down and said…“We could do this the easy way or the hard way…why must you always choose the hard way child?”

Fast-forward…and the most beautiful and hard to describe transformation has occurred in my heart.  Through tears and loneliness…joy and blessings…it happened…He became enough.  I now know the authenticity of Paul’s words in Philippians 4 when he said…

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

This doesn't mean that I don't still have desires, hopes and dreams...because I do...but my peace and contentment in this world is no longer controlled by my circumstances or relationships, it is rooted in Him. 

Why do I share that story?  Because I guess that gets me to the cross.  You may all be in a different place on your faith journey…or maybe you feel that you aren’t on the journey at all.  And that is ok, in fact that is the point.  He will remain faithful, even when we remain faithless.  He will be ever-waiting, always-anticipating, and open-armed welcoming us to turn to Him. 

I’m not surprised that we often have to dig to the bottom of the barrel…to be humbled in some way or suffer a great loss before we turn to Him.  Instead, what does surprise me…is that He meets us there.  In those places of heartbreak, shame and defeat…He is there.

I can not find in the Word where He says that our lives in this world will be easy, in fact quite the contrary as He states in John 16, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

After all, we live in a fallen world where evil runs rampant, relationships may fail, disappointments shall come and death will pass…

He alone remains.

He is constant.  He is unchanging.  He is faithful.  He is love.

He is enough.

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying,

“This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying,

“This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

Luke 22:19-20

May the blessings and treasured relationships that we receive from above…be built upon the cross...our Savior...an unshakeable foundation.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

Happy Easter!

The faithfulness of Ruth

It is a divine story...the one that entwined my life with the Hafner's...one only God could write.

Imagine stepping off the plane from the World Race, returning to US soil for the first time in 11-months...carrying a strange blend of heartbreak and hope...and a very small handful of dirty clothes that seemed salvageable after the journey. (they really weren't)

 A little bit overwhelmed...

     as the fringes of my radically simplistic life collided head on with the pace of American culture.

Thankfully my parents whisk me away to the farm where I was able to slowly adjust...for a month enjoying the chores of my childhood...mowing endless acres and working alongside my dad cleaning grain bins.  What a sweet season...all the while carrying a burden for Uganda in my heart.

Family picture 2011 (note, wrong color tractor)  :)

I knew the Lord had asked me to return - to do something bigger than myself - to connect the knowledge and resources of American agriculture with the development efforts in Uganda...

...but I hadn't the foggiest idea how to go about it.

With a big vision and not an ounce of a plan, I did the only logical thing I could muster...I prayed.  And then I admittedly told the Lord..."I know you are asking me to do something in Uganda...but I don't know how to go about it...I need time to develop this vision so unless you show me another way to financially support myself, I'll pull money out of my 401K while we figure this thing out."

The next day I received a text..."Brandy now that you're home, do you want to make a little money - I could use an additional resource to help test for a few months."  I literally laughed out loud.  And then I accepted the offer to come back to Deere as a contractor working for a good friend and previous co-worker.  The beautiful thing about being a contractor is flexibility.  Which is really important when you're trying to flush out a vision in Uganda.

Meanwhile, I receive an invitation from Mike and Cathy Hafner to come and visit them out West where Mike was on territory within Deere's Construction & Forestry Division.  I had met Mike years earlier during my own season within the C&F division when he was based in Illinois.

The simple invitation:  Come and visit us in Washington, share your stories from the World Race and where God is leading next.

The incredible offer:  Wherever the Lord is leading you, we want to be a part of it.

I was deeply touched by their 'we will go where you go, faithfulness of Ruth' offering.  Amazing how much more reasonable a vision seems when you aren't going at it alone.  Mike and Cathy helped me co-found our non-profit, Field of Hope.  Mike retired from Deere in the fall of 2012 and is currently running around the dusty roads of Uganda for a few months supporting our FOH initiatives.  Mike...the same guy who was leading a Bible study before work on Friday's during his stint in Illinois.  The same Bible study which I was invited...then inspired to listen to Christian radio...and eventually led to Christ.

 Cathy, myself and Mike taken in Fall 2011 after our initial investor fundraising banquet.

Sometimes we have to let the story play out for awhile before we are able to see where the Lord is leading.  I've learned to take one small step of obedience after another and let Him lay the divine path before and behind me.

Please keep Mike lifted up in prayer and follow his posts on our facebook page.

Mike with farmers/students of John Deere's smallholder training program in July 2012.

But Ruth replied, “Don’t try to make me leave you and go back. Where you go I’ll go. Where you stay I’ll stay. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.  Ruth 1:16

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.  Proverbs 19:21

A changed heart...

“It takes a big heart to do what you do.” 

I smile…hesitate…somewhat awkwardly trying to formulate a genuine response.  “What I should have said” didn’t hit me until I was westbound, 20,000 feet in the air en route home.

While I’ve never actually physically seen my heart, I’m pretty sure it’s just regular sized, proportionate to my body.  But of course I realized he wasn't accusing my heart of exceeding the fist guideline we were all given in grade school...but a 'thank you' didn't resonate so I opted for the awkward smile in response...because it felt more honest.  

My heart really isn't big...it's changed.  [what i should have said]

I’d imagine that Christ had to make quite an impact on earth to live a life worthy of marking time.   

BC = Before Christ

AD = Anno Domini or Year of the Lord referring to the year of Christ’s birth

I’d also imagine that Christ should make a strikingly similar impact on our individual lives when we authentically come to Him.

Sometimes I find myself referring to my own life in those terms, telling a story and clarifying 'before Christ' because in some stories...it makes all the difference.

Before Christ...

• My identity was wrapped up in the world, dependent on my accomplishments and attention from others. 
• I didn't think about serving the poor or feeding the hungry - I thought a lot about me.
• I threw away a marriage.
• I swam [ok nearly drowned] in the deep end of certain pools of sin trying to fill the void in my heart.
• I held grudges, fostered bitterness.

Anno Domini...

• My identity is rooted in Him. 
• My heart breaks for the least of these.
• I've been forgiven.
• I've been set free.
• I forgive.
  

So while you may see a big heart - I know better...

He changed me.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  Ezekiel 36:26

 

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

  

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

What if He says yes?

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February 17, 2010 -- Lira, Uganda -- Journal entry

I don't think God gives us a calling we don't first ask for.  Perhaps the level of our own surrender determines our calling.

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 At the 2008 Leadership Summit, Bill Hybels, senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church spoke on Mother Teresa and her relentless pursuit of God.  He referred to her commitment to do the Lord's bidding as "carte blanche yieldedness".  To refuse Him nothing.  The Lord placed a divine calling on her life and she answered His bidding without delay.  And the world was introduced to an unknown Albanian schoolteacher.

She refused Him nothing.

I wonder how many more Mother Teresa's should be on mission for Christ...fighting against injustice and bringing hope to the nations...but are too preoccupied...scared...or comfortable to act.

I don't want to miss His bidding.  At the end of my life, I want to look back and have been nothing...if not completely surrendered to His ways. 

At least that's what I'm convinced...on idle Tuesdays...

But...when the callings come (at least the sizable, i'm-going-to-interrupt-your-life type callings), I begin to back pedal.

Like early 2007 when He asked me to leave John Deere.

"Are you crazy?"
"You can't be asking me to quit my job."
"Can't I be radical for you and still pursue my career?"
"How will I pay my bills?"
"I know I said I'd do anything Lord...but this?!?"

Never mind the fact that for the weeks leading up to His confirmation, I had been praying and pleading for Him to use me in radical ways to serve the poor.

I trust He is humored by this fickle heart...

So I'm not sure I accepted the calling with the bold carte blanche yieldedness of Mother Teresa...but eventually obedience trumped reason and in true Choose Your Own Adventure fashion, my book suddenly had a vastly different ending.

I can not begin to fathom all I would have missed had I refused.

So you would think the history would pave the way for future surrender...and to be honest...it has...when the tremor measures low on the Richter scale.  But why then when I feel the possibility of a holy rumbling in the distance have I told the Lord "Yes...if I hear your confirmation" and then promptly stuck my fingers in my ears to prevent hearing His response? 

Because what if He says yes?

Notes from 2008 Leadership Summit, Relentless: 

• What do you do when God taps you on the shoulder and tells you to step up?
• There is a direct correlation between complete surrender to God and receiving a new assignment
• We are called to say “yes, without delay” and not to weigh God’s directions against our comforts
• Some people will misunderstand and misrepresent our calling
• Callings are precious commodities; they are holy things

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” ~ Jim Elliot