Let that be enough...

Be still, and know that I am God...

Days...weeks...years even...
for these words
buried in the 46th Psalm
to take a deep rooted appreciation
in the depths of my soul

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God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Come and see what the LORD has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

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How often our earth gives way
our security shaken
our own strength insufficient.

Yet it is in this place
at the end of ourselves
we call out for more.

And when we do...

may we know that He hears us
may we know His touch
may we know that He loves us

and may we let that be enough.

Walk through fire

In the moments when I'm walking through fire...

I question...
I wrestle...
I cry.

I get angry...
I repent...

I wipe away my tears...

and start the cycle again.

But...

when I finally reach the other side...and walk a bit further down the road...God nudges me...to turn around...and take in what He's done.


"You may not like my methods...and you don't understand my ways...but you can not deny what I am doing child. I am in control. Always remember...I am with you...I am for you...my love will never fail."

I wonder...what fires are you walking through tonight?

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Matthew 6: 33

Let us set our eyes upon Him.

Sitting at the Table

I was reunited with an old friend and co-worker in the Amsterdam airport as we boarded the last leg of our journey into Entebbe, Uganda. We stepped off the plane onto African soil and moments into our walk, the power went out throughout the entire airport – as it flickered back to life, I smiled and looked to Mike...”Welcome to Africa!”

We were greeted around 10:30pm after we made it through customs by a sign with our names. I have secretly always wanted to be greeted in such a manner. Although in reality there was a much stronger sense of relief vs. false sense of celebrity in that moment. :)

Enter Chester. A man I had not previously met face-to-face, yet immediately recognized due to the Internet, accompanied our sign and driver. I had learned of Chester during my time in Uganda last year. As I became familiar with the agriculture program in Lira - Victory Outreach Ministries Agriculture Project (VOMAP) – I also learned of it's Canadian partner – Crossroads and their field rep who made regular visits.

We made the short drive over to our guest house and settled in for the short evening. Despite the late hour, we sat with Chester on the patio and caught up like old friends, a task easily accomplished through shared passions and a love of Jesus.

And then there were four. Breakfast came at a painfully early hour and we sipped coffee around a table joined by Eldad. Eldad joined us from Israel on behalf of John Deere Water – focused on performing an irrigation assessment for VOMAP. We laughed and enjoyed the company of new friends, commenting on the different avenues that had brought us to the table.

We journeyed to the Kajaansi airstrip and boarded the MAF (Mission Aviation Fellowship) flight to Lira. Amid the morning shower, a blessing in Uganda's rainy season, we all breathed a sigh of relief as our tires left the muddy airstrip behind.

And then there were more. Reuniting with friends and familiar faces in Lira was a blessing too precious for words. The joy and sincerity of a people I have come to love immediately flooded my heart. Pastor Johnson greeted me with a warm hug and a smile...”Welcome home!” as we settled in for some African tea and mandazi.

Later that day...we would sit around the table with six VOM local leaders to discuss the current situation and needs in the region and the life-giving value of water.

Later that day...I would sit amazed by our Heavenly Father who had perfectly orchestrated the different avenues that had brought us each uniquely to the table.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

I've been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

Home Again

I stood in front of the picture that hangs above my fireplace tonight and soaked in the faces as they stared back at me. I didn't want them to penetrate my soul as deeply as they did...but that didn't stop them.

I had just gotten off the phone...from an incredibly exciting conversation regarding future ministry possibilities...yet when I hung up I almost instantly began to cry...weep really. And I had no idea why. There was such joy surrounding my soul...but it was laced with the weightiness of heartbreak...perhaps for the vast need that exists in the world...and probably fear...for God asking me to do something about it.

I guess it comes with the territory sometimes.

I spent 30 minutes driving up and down the streets of Rock Island last week with one of the boys, searching for his brother before church. A couple days later when I picked them up after school...I lovingly let him know I was less than impressed. This isn't the first time he has blown me off since I've been home.

"Remember the promise you made to me...that even when you got older and 'too cool' for church...that you would continue to come anyway." I nudged...

Looking me straight in the eye he responded..."Brandy...you were gone all year...that promise got old."

I didn't want his words to cut like a knife...but they did.

But because the kid has a heart the size of Texas and an understanding and interest in missions...I knew I had a leg to stand on.

"Tyvon I hardly abandoned you...I was doing missions for Jesus."

He let his head sink into his lap...and through a muffled and seemingly defeated...yet sincere voice came his response..."Yeah" he paused..."I know".

While he hid his face, I hid my tears.

It feels good to be back in the neighborhood, to walk into the youth center and see Sr. High boys who shouldn't care less that I'm back in town paint a smile across their face when they see me.

They shouldn't care...but they do.

Re-creating me

I'm having difficulty authoring what will be my last blog post to this site for awhile. As many of you have heard, I will be leaving in August for an 11 month mission trip - The World Race. As part of the experience, I will be keeping a blog - and I invite you on the journey by signing up to receive updates.

I went back and read through my first blog post, authored the first week I had joined Christian Friendliness. I remember the timid excitement I held - hopeful that one day I would know the neighborhood children who passed by my windows. The thought brought a smile. These days I rarely drive without my windows down, just in case I spot one of my littles along the streets - I can easily holler at them. And there is rarely a time when I don't recognize at least one.

God has been so very good to me in this ministry. My life is richer because of it.

The staff, kids and teens threw me a going away party tonight - and as I looked around the youth center through welled up tears...my heart was filled with praise. Praise for my Creator. Praise for calling me here. Praise for the work He did in me. Praise for the work He will continue to do.

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

(Lyrics taken from Every Season, Nichole Nordeman)

in His arms

As I was making the rounds in the community signing kids up for camp...I saw "my boys" playing outside. I had been out of town the past two weekends for a training camp for an upcoming mission.

Before I could get out of the van, Tyvon threw his arms around me. "I thought you were gone for 11-months!" he declared. In the mind of a 4th grader, out of town for a couple weekends indicated that the trip had begun (despite my attempts to explain otherwise).

As his little arms clung to me...refusing to let go...my heart swelled...as I tried to explain the details once again. But after a few moments I realized that my efforts were fruitless...he was just happy to be in my arms.

Afterward I reflected on my relationship with God...and how similar a reunion I have felt. There are undeniably times in my life where God's presence is felt stronger than others...while I realize He never actually leaves or forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5). But in those moments...when I feel Him nearer...I cling tight...I press in...to the point I'm not sure I can make out his words anymore...I'm just happy to be in His arms.

Now I'm not suggesting that it is ever a good practice not to listen to our Father :) ...but I think it is ok...to cling tight...to press in...to be loved.

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Ephesians 5:1-2 MSG