A Smile Like That

What makes you happy? Is it possible to be happy...irregardless of circumstances? Up to this point in my ministry...I've focused solely on inspiring these kids to see a different way...in hopes they'll choose a different life. But what if they can't escape their circumstances? What if they remain in poverty...surrounded by violence and despair...can they too be happy?

In preparing for a message this week...I stumbled across the following story about Allison...a girl in a youth group in California who went on a mission trip to Mexico. "When she got there she was astonished with the poverty. Allison grew up in a home where she had everything. She had tons of clothes and tons of spending money, even enough to support her little drug habit. But here in Mexico she saw little children covered in dirt, playing in the same clothes every day. Despite their surroundings, these children had the biggest smiles on their faces. Allison spent the week with them, watching these children come to the small church in the village and laugh and sing songs, praising Jesus' name. Allison couldn't understand why these poor children were smiling. What did they have to smile about? Allison did understand one thing. She had everything she wanted, and she DIDN'T have a smile like that. But she wanted it. So right there in Mexico, she got down on her knees in the dirt and gave her life to Jesus."

Nine kids came to Christ last week during an evening club after message. It was an amazing night proving you just never know what God has in store. One by one...their hands went up...all of them after...a smile like that.

Equipping the Called

Every morning at camp...I'd run up to Jabari exclaiming that I needed my morning hug. By the end of the week...he was running up to me. I ran into him today at the center...the Martin Luther King Center rents our facility for their day camp...and a few of the CF kids were there. Jabari instantly dropped his dodgeball and ran off the court into my arms. "Jabari...I've missed your hugs" He smiled..."Three actually...there's a hug for Saturday...Sunday...and today...I miss camp" he stated. My heart melted. I love these kids. I do.

Somewhere between the chaos...the hate...the anger. Between the need...the love...the joy...they've won me. They're in my heart...they're on my mind...they're my CF kids.

I feel like I've crossed over the first major hurdle...that test of faith...when it was easier to back down...than to press on. I remember the night I was brought to my knees...spent...exhausted...overwhelmed...done. I rememeber thinking...this is when they quit. And a thousand excuses crept in my head to justify how me quitting would be different...would be excused. But I couldn't convince myself that God had removed this calling from my life. Fine...I'll stay. Each day I'm discovering the truth behind the statement...God doesn't call the equipped...he equips the called.

A small town farm girl surviving the streets of Century Woods...believe me...it must be the case.

Room to Work

Loving them...tested me...at times...in ways...I never imagined.

I'd never before witnessed so much anger trapped in so many small children. I'd never been so frustrated with all of them...and loved them at the same time. I'd never been yelled at...put down...or disrespected so continually and willingly went back for more.
I'd never shown love to a child...and realized from their eyes it was perhaps the first time they'd received it...I'd never given so many hugs...or got to love on so many children...I'd never seen a child's life transformed.
Then I went to camp.

My heart smiled each time I witnessed these kids being kids. In the canoe...catching the fish...playing the games. Sometimes you had to steal quick glances for the moment would pass...but every moment was worth it. Camp is beautiful...a refuge...away from the concrete...away from the violence...away.

What transforms a child...full of hate...making threats...hating camp...hating us...to requesting a bible...and weeping because she doesn't want to go home? I think it is simply making room for God to work...and there's a lot of room...at camp.

Love Them

I leave for camp tomorrow with my 3rd and 4th graders. With 40 signed up...I can not wait to get them all out there! Before pick-up the in-town staff meets with the camp counselors to help prepare them for the kids and “turn the kids over”. The counselors are responsible for discipline, leadership, etc. during camp week. As hard as it might be...I take the backseat.

How do you prepare camp counselors for these kids?

“When I started CF...when you started this internship...you heard a few stories of what our kid’s home lives were like. Perhaps that was a mother passed out...or high...constantly screaming...perhaps it was random meals...if any meals at all...or perhaps it was abusive and violent. I’m coming off a week of camp sign-ups...where I visited the inside of many of their homes...met their parents and guardians...and experienced their life on the inside of their walls. And I want to make sure this point isn’t missed...those stories...became realities. I don’t know what our kids will go through this morning before they get on that bus...but when they do...we have a chance to make their day different. We have a chance to give them a week like no other they’ve known. Perhaps we have a chance to change their life.

Christina and I held a park program last week with a few of the kids that will be going out to camp with us. And much of what we had planned out so perfectly in our notebook...looked much different in the park. At first it was difficult not to get frustrated...but as God usually does in His way...let me know...“It is only important that those kids see you love them. They might miss the message...they might not play the game...but none of that will matter...if they see Christ’s love...in you.”

Make no mistake that many of these kids might be difficult to love much of the time. They will be ungrateful...they will be disrespectful...they will cuss you...they may hit you...they will hit each other. And if you react in the same way...it would be deserved...and probably would not surprise them...but love them...keep loving them...and that...will amaze them.”

In Their Shoes

Summer programs are officially in full swing. Moline Senior High left for camp tonight. God Bless the camp counselors!

After our program Saturday, my intern (Christina) and I hit the streets again pushing camp sign-ups. It was late afternoon by the time we entered Century Woods...and it was busy. The Saturday night hustle and bustle beginning...the cops making their rounds...and us. As we left the security of the Sunshine van...we shared nervous glances...and I'm sure both thought "Here we go". But we didn't get only a few steps away before we had our own little entourage of kids..."Come sign me up, I live over here". We followed one kid after another into their homes...each one a different experience. It is flooded down there with kids and innocence...equally with crime and cruelty. We pulled away...happy...ecstatic even...but with the heartbreak settling in our bones...of the reality of their oppression. So much oppression.

The Moline Teen Director told me very early on that I will gain a whole different perspective on life while ministering to the least of these. Opinions...judgments and criticisms are easy from the outside...but things look so drastically different on their streets...in their homes. I don't agree with the way some of them live their life...but it is different...in their shoes.