I'm having difficulty authoring what will be my last blog post to this site for awhile. As many of you have heard, I will be leaving in August for an 11 month mission trip - The World Race. As part of the experience, I will be keeping a blog - and I invite you on the journey by signing up to receive updates.
I went back and read through my first blog post, authored the first week I had joined Christian Friendliness. I remember the timid excitement I held - hopeful that one day I would know the neighborhood children who passed by my windows. The thought brought a smile. These days I rarely drive without my windows down, just in case I spot one of my littles along the streets - I can easily holler at them. And there is rarely a time when I don't recognize at least one.
God has been so very good to me in this ministry. My life is richer because of it.
The staff, kids and teens threw me a going away party tonight - and as I looked around the youth center through welled up tears...my heart was filled with praise. Praise for my Creator. Praise for calling me here. Praise for the work He did in me. Praise for the work He will continue to do.
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You
And how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be
As You are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring
(Lyrics taken from Every Season, Nichole Nordeman)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
in His arms
As I was making the rounds in the community signing kids up for camp...I saw "my boys" playing outside. I had been out of town the past two weekends for a training camp for an upcoming mission.
Before I could get out of the van, Tyvon threw his arms around me. "I thought you were gone for 11-months!" he declared. In the mind of a 4th grader, out of town for a couple weekends indicated that the trip had begun (despite my attempts to explain otherwise).
As his little arms clung to me...refusing to let go...my heart swelled...as I tried to explain the details once again. But after a few moments I realized that my efforts were fruitless...he was just happy to be in my arms.
Afterward I reflected on my relationship with God...and how similar a reunion I have felt. There are undeniably times in my life where God's presence is felt stronger than others...while I realize He never actually leaves or forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5). But in those moments...when I feel Him nearer...I cling tight...I press in...to the point I'm not sure I can make out his words anymore...I'm just happy to be in His arms.
Now I'm not suggesting that it is ever a good practice not to listen to our Father :) ...but I think it is ok...to cling tight...to press in...to be loved.
Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. Ephesians 5:1-2 MSG
Thursday, May 21, 2009
There is a story
There was a journey...I had to take...all alone. The days were authored on my heart and captured in the privacy of my journal.
I recently attended a writer's conference and one of the speaker's advice in connecting your readers is to write from a transparent heart. But...she forewarned...you must be healed from the thing before you can write about it.
It nearly destroyed me.
It completely broke me.
But I journeyed.
I decided to error on the side of radical obedience.
It nearly destroyed me.
It completely broke me.
But I journeyed.
Somewhere along the way, I committed to live my life as an experiment of the sorts...on behalf of the Lord. I committed to live my life in radical obedience, surrendered to Him...and watch my days unfold.
He continually brings me back to a text...which is now inscribed on my heart...
Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.
Habakkuk 1:5
He goes on in chapter 2...
Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay
I look forward to the day when I get to write the revelation down. I long for the appointed time.
There is a story being written...it is not my own.
I recently attended a writer's conference and one of the speaker's advice in connecting your readers is to write from a transparent heart. But...she forewarned...you must be healed from the thing before you can write about it.
It nearly destroyed me.
It completely broke me.
But I journeyed.
I decided to error on the side of radical obedience.
It nearly destroyed me.
It completely broke me.
But I journeyed.
Somewhere along the way, I committed to live my life as an experiment of the sorts...on behalf of the Lord. I committed to live my life in radical obedience, surrendered to Him...and watch my days unfold.
He continually brings me back to a text...which is now inscribed on my heart...
Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.
Habakkuk 1:5
He goes on in chapter 2...
Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come and will not delay
I look forward to the day when I get to write the revelation down. I long for the appointed time.
There is a story being written...it is not my own.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Rainy Day Adventures
A rainy day and an afternoon free from school screams opportunity. A few phone calls and rain spotted clothes later, I’ve got a group of our ‘tougher’ girls circled up for a Bible study. They were engaged to varying degrees with the story of the woman at the well found in John 4. However, one girl was repeatedly distracted by her cell phone. As my impatience grew, I asked her to leave the group, but she took a few moments to explain the situation. Friends of hers had just conducted some form of robbery at a local grocery store and were now running from the cops and looking for an apartment to hide. As the girls discussed alternatives and which apartment was available, I sat in disbelief. Part of me literally could not process the irony of the situation. They were in the middle of a Bible study either stowing away criminals or they were lying; in order to excuse the use of the cell phone. I’m not sure which one I hoped for. Either way, they agreed to finish the study and go home directly afterward.
As I pulled into the complex, it was like a bad movie scene. Cops were surrounding the parking lot and officers were staked outside one of the girl’s apartment. My heart sank, confirming that I actually would have preferred that they had been lying. In a whirlwind they jumped out of the van and went to face the music. I lingered long enough to ensure they were ok and then reluctantly drove off.
As I pulled away, the earlier teachings of the Samaritan woman ran through my head. How often do we look to be filled by the ways of the world, only to be disappointed and need to be filled again? How often is the living water, the word of God, offered freely right before us, yet we reject it and dip our bucket back into the world again?
That night as I turned on the 10 o’clock news, I watched as the police escorted three individuals from the apartment, with their hands bound behind them, empty...once again.
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14
Please join me in praying for this group of girls. They are pulled by the world, yet continue to be intrigued by the truth.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
As I pulled into the complex, it was like a bad movie scene. Cops were surrounding the parking lot and officers were staked outside one of the girl’s apartment. My heart sank, confirming that I actually would have preferred that they had been lying. In a whirlwind they jumped out of the van and went to face the music. I lingered long enough to ensure they were ok and then reluctantly drove off.
As I pulled away, the earlier teachings of the Samaritan woman ran through my head. How often do we look to be filled by the ways of the world, only to be disappointed and need to be filled again? How often is the living water, the word of God, offered freely right before us, yet we reject it and dip our bucket back into the world again?
That night as I turned on the 10 o’clock news, I watched as the police escorted three individuals from the apartment, with their hands bound behind them, empty...once again.
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:13-14
Please join me in praying for this group of girls. They are pulled by the world, yet continue to be intrigued by the truth.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Maybe
The brutality of the crucifixion...the miracle of the resurrection.
Unappreciated...
or perhaps completely lost
to me anyway.
Until I looked...
(I mean really looked)
at the cross
from the foot
without separation
without distortion.
In an instant...there it was.
Had it been there all along?
How could I not have known?
How could you not have told me?
Grace...Amazing Grace
There for me?
Waiting...
and all I had to do was look...
and I was given new eyes
to see.
I've carried a quote with me in my thoughts since the night I watched Fireproof. It was captured in a conversation between the father character and his son...where the father admits..."The cross was offensive to me until I came to it."
Perhaps our view of the cross has been distorted from a distance...for many circumstances...and people...even churches...have gotten in the way of our view. But when we choose to sit at the very foot of the thing and gaze upon it for ourselves...maybe...just maybe...we'll start to see it for what it actually is...not what the world has done to it.
maybe it would become less offensive
maybe it would look like grace
maybe it would feel like love
flowing down
from the hands and feet
nailed to a tree
maybe it would cover you
as it covers me
maybe
Unappreciated...
or perhaps completely lost
to me anyway.
Until I looked...
(I mean really looked)
at the cross
from the foot
without separation
without distortion.
In an instant...there it was.
Had it been there all along?
How could I not have known?
How could you not have told me?
Grace...Amazing Grace
There for me?
Waiting...
and all I had to do was look...
and I was given new eyes
to see.
I've carried a quote with me in my thoughts since the night I watched Fireproof. It was captured in a conversation between the father character and his son...where the father admits..."The cross was offensive to me until I came to it."
Perhaps our view of the cross has been distorted from a distance...for many circumstances...and people...even churches...have gotten in the way of our view. But when we choose to sit at the very foot of the thing and gaze upon it for ourselves...maybe...just maybe...we'll start to see it for what it actually is...not what the world has done to it.
maybe it would become less offensive
maybe it would look like grace
maybe it would feel like love
flowing down
from the hands and feet
nailed to a tree
maybe it would cover you
as it covers me
maybe
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Secret is Out
She leaned over to whisper a secret to her big sister...“Guess what sissie...I gave my life to Christ today.” “That’s awesome!” Her sister exclaimed and her small, quiet voice continued...“yeah...we got forgiven from God.”
As I sat with the fourth grade twins in Bible study only a few hours earlier, one of them asked the question...“Do we have to get baptized to have our sins washed away?” I led into my best presentation of the Gospel and explained the difference between believing and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior and the purpose of getting baptized. When I got done, she excitedly asked...“Can we pray that prayer today?” Her twin echoed the desire. “Absolutely!” I said with a smile.
Each devotional we do ends with a prayer that I let the girls lead. As God’s timing would have it, that day the prayer box instructed: “If you have never trusted in Jesus as your Savior, you can do that right now.” “We just did that!” they exclaimed.
“Shhhhhhhh….but don’t tell anyone.” they whispered to their older sister.
“Why not?” she asked...
“Because WE want to!”
As I sat with the fourth grade twins in Bible study only a few hours earlier, one of them asked the question...“Do we have to get baptized to have our sins washed away?” I led into my best presentation of the Gospel and explained the difference between believing and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior and the purpose of getting baptized. When I got done, she excitedly asked...“Can we pray that prayer today?” Her twin echoed the desire. “Absolutely!” I said with a smile.
Each devotional we do ends with a prayer that I let the girls lead. As God’s timing would have it, that day the prayer box instructed: “If you have never trusted in Jesus as your Savior, you can do that right now.” “We just did that!” they exclaimed.
“Shhhhhhhh….but don’t tell anyone.” they whispered to their older sister.
“Why not?” she asked...
“Because WE want to!”
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
She Speaks Scholarship Contest
"If you want to make God laugh...tell Him your plans."
Oh how my life has become a testament to the accuracy of this little quote. I never planned on it being that way and certainly would not have set out towards the goal...but change it? Not for the world.
You see when life hurts...life happens. When life happens...love buds. When love buds...God blossoms. And when God blossoms...our hurts are healed. Only in these moments, may we choose to take the lives we've been given...and graciously give them back to Him.
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." Luke 8:48
In this peace, He revealed a hidden treasure buried deep within my heart...uncovered after the layers of hurt were finally healed, patiently waiting there all along...
...a passion to write.
The seed was planted nearly a year ago when I stumbled across the She Speaks Conference website. She Speaks is part of Proverbs 31 Ministries. The conference promises to be a life-changing experience for women of all generations, equipping attendees to more effectively share the Word of God and reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.
My heart skipped a beat when I discovered that they are offering a She Speaks Scholarship Contest for Bloggers. Winning the scholarship would be a huge financial blessing on my ministry salary, but more importantly it would confirm my calling to be there and discover His plans for this new dream and begin writing the story He's already written.
This blog post serves as my contest entry, prayers welcome! :)
I started out in life, believing there must be a God
...but I never thought I’d live for Him.
I started out in Corporate America, planning to climb the ladder
...but I never thought I’d jump from it.
I started out in faith, traveling around the world to show His love
...but I never knew His love would be shown to me.
I started out in ministry, hoping to help broken lives become whole
...but I never knew the most broken life would be mine.
I started out in school, hating to read and write
...but I never dreamed God would write a story with my life.
I started out in writing, fearful to begin
...but I then realized...it already had.
Oh how my life has become a testament to the accuracy of this little quote. I never planned on it being that way and certainly would not have set out towards the goal...but change it? Not for the world.
You see when life hurts...life happens. When life happens...love buds. When love buds...God blossoms. And when God blossoms...our hurts are healed. Only in these moments, may we choose to take the lives we've been given...and graciously give them back to Him.
Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." Luke 8:48
In this peace, He revealed a hidden treasure buried deep within my heart...uncovered after the layers of hurt were finally healed, patiently waiting there all along...
...a passion to write.
The seed was planted nearly a year ago when I stumbled across the She Speaks Conference website. She Speaks is part of Proverbs 31 Ministries. The conference promises to be a life-changing experience for women of all generations, equipping attendees to more effectively share the Word of God and reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.My heart skipped a beat when I discovered that they are offering a She Speaks Scholarship Contest for Bloggers. Winning the scholarship would be a huge financial blessing on my ministry salary, but more importantly it would confirm my calling to be there and discover His plans for this new dream and begin writing the story He's already written.
This blog post serves as my contest entry, prayers welcome! :)
I started out in life, believing there must be a God
...but I never thought I’d live for Him.
I started out in Corporate America, planning to climb the ladder
...but I never thought I’d jump from it.
I started out in faith, traveling around the world to show His love
...but I never knew His love would be shown to me.
I started out in ministry, hoping to help broken lives become whole
...but I never knew the most broken life would be mine.
I started out in school, hating to read and write
...but I never dreamed God would write a story with my life.
I started out in writing, fearful to begin
...but I then realized...it already had.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Unexpected Happiness
A rainy day often calls for the comfort of a couch and a movie. Wrapped under a handmade blanket from my mother...I found myself in joyful tears as the credits for "Saving Sarah Cain" rolled. I walked upstairs to the newly occupied loft...decorated with traces of adolescence...and smiled at the irony of the movie with the timing of my new roommate. As I stood there and considered moving the empty boxes to the garage, I was swept by emotion...of gratitude.
For someone who has grown accustomed to the refuge living alone provides....the idea of this young girl sharing my roof...brings absolute joy.
I walked back to my room and found a card nestled on my bed..."Thank you for opening up your home to me...especially on such short notice!"...signed with a smiley face and a heart.
The circumstances that have brought her here must feel more like a storm than a blessing...but as the cover for the movie proclaims..."Happiness comes when you least expect it."
"Our inner happiness depends not on what we experience but on the degree of our gratitude to God, whatever the experience." ~ Albert Schweitzer
For someone who has grown accustomed to the refuge living alone provides....the idea of this young girl sharing my roof...brings absolute joy.
I walked back to my room and found a card nestled on my bed..."Thank you for opening up your home to me...especially on such short notice!"...signed with a smiley face and a heart.
The circumstances that have brought her here must feel more like a storm than a blessing...but as the cover for the movie proclaims..."Happiness comes when you least expect it."
"Our inner happiness depends not on what we experience but on the degree of our gratitude to God, whatever the experience." ~ Albert Schweitzer
Sunday, March 1, 2009
a Sunday blessing
Sundays do not pass without the true awareness of the blessings they bring. As my phone rings, often much earlier than desired...I roll over and answer it with a smile...knowing full well who's voice will be on the other end..."you picking us up for church today Brandy?"..."you know I am...see you around 10."
A few hours later, as we roll into church, I am quite certain that we are the only vehicle coming from the West End of Rock Island singing to the likes of Roger Miller. And it makes this country girl's heart smile. :)
After I check the boys into the children's wing...I join the others in the sanctuary...and our row begins to fill as the first songs of worship infuse the air.
From my teen girls...to Chris and his wife and their posse of teen boys...to our other church and ministry friends...our row is complete. And as I glanced down it today...a childhood quote my dad favored, popped into my head "what a motley looking crew." I considered the diversity of our backgrounds..."no way should this group of individuals be standing here together" I thought. And almost immediately I was hit by the reality that we wouldn't be...if somewhere along the way we hadn't all individually fallen in love with Jesus Christ.
We gather after church for food and fellowship...and count our blessings...and say our prayers...all grateful for the group...that Jesus built. :)
THANK YOU for everyone who has made possible my calling into full-time ministry...it is because of you...every Sunday...I am blessed.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
God wants you happy?
I recently got to prepare and deliver a message for our teens, tearing down the Urban Legend that "God wants you happy." On the surface, this may not sound like an "Urban Legend" at all but an accurate view of God. But let's pause for a moment and consider another perspective.
Happiness is based on happenings.
And the reality is that we live in a broken and fallen world, our nightly news tells the tale.
Still, sometimes our happenings do in fact make us happy.
But other times our happenings come with real pain and suffering...and leave us in sorrow.
It is these times which begs the question...if God wants me happy...and I'm not...did He fail me?
There inlies the danger of believing this Urban Legend.
Is it possible to find peace and contentment amidst the sorrow of heartache?
Is it possible to live with lasting joy, regardless of circumstances?
Was Paul "happy" after he had been severely flogged and thrown in prison for his faith and teachings? I think not. Yet we see in Acts 16 that he had joy enough to begin praying and singing hymns to our God from his prison cell.
I've recently begun to dabble in this kind of joy.
This side of heaven will come with its hosts of trials and heartaches that quite frankly will not make us "happy"...but the more I understand about the heart of God...the more I believe that He wants us more than happy...He wants us blessed...
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Matthew 5:3-12
As I finished the message, I could literally see and feel some of our teen's sorrow...for it was painted across their faces...and rooted deep in my heart. So I watched...and I waited...for them to process...some for the first time...that God was with them in their pain...He had not caused it...while He had allowed it...and they began to understand...that God just may have a plan to use it...and for that...they would be comforted...they would be blessed.
Happiness is based on happenings.
And the reality is that we live in a broken and fallen world, our nightly news tells the tale.
Still, sometimes our happenings do in fact make us happy.
But other times our happenings come with real pain and suffering...and leave us in sorrow.
It is these times which begs the question...if God wants me happy...and I'm not...did He fail me?
There inlies the danger of believing this Urban Legend.
Is it possible to find peace and contentment amidst the sorrow of heartache?
Is it possible to live with lasting joy, regardless of circumstances?
Was Paul "happy" after he had been severely flogged and thrown in prison for his faith and teachings? I think not. Yet we see in Acts 16 that he had joy enough to begin praying and singing hymns to our God from his prison cell.
I've recently begun to dabble in this kind of joy.
This side of heaven will come with its hosts of trials and heartaches that quite frankly will not make us "happy"...but the more I understand about the heart of God...the more I believe that He wants us more than happy...He wants us blessed...
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Matthew 5:3-12
As I finished the message, I could literally see and feel some of our teen's sorrow...for it was painted across their faces...and rooted deep in my heart. So I watched...and I waited...for them to process...some for the first time...that God was with them in their pain...He had not caused it...while He had allowed it...and they began to understand...that God just may have a plan to use it...and for that...they would be comforted...they would be blessed.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Around the bend
“One thing is clear: God won’t be rushed. Without a willingness to wait, we will be regularly frustrated with God and may become disillusioned with our faith. God never promises us that our present circumstances will always make sense. Sometimes, we’ll have to wait until the present becomes the past before what we are going through becomes even remotely understandable.” ~Gary Thomas
There is something that sits profoundly well in my soul with this statement. If you believe the creator of the universe is all-knowing, perhaps it is worth considering that he can see past the wall that has blocked your view. When we look at our own circumstances, we can only see what is directly before us, not what is down the road. Instead of questioning Him, maybe it is time that we consider trusting Him. The Lord God Almighty who created you out of love...knows what is best for you...and will use all circumstances for good and for His glory.
He can see around the bend.
Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:9-12
There is something that sits profoundly well in my soul with this statement. If you believe the creator of the universe is all-knowing, perhaps it is worth considering that he can see past the wall that has blocked your view. When we look at our own circumstances, we can only see what is directly before us, not what is down the road. Instead of questioning Him, maybe it is time that we consider trusting Him. The Lord God Almighty who created you out of love...knows what is best for you...and will use all circumstances for good and for His glory.
He can see around the bend.
Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:9-12
Friday, January 30, 2009
How can I keep from singing?
I had read in the Bible about this concept of overflowing peace and joy. I had even heard a few authentic Christians speak of experiencing it. The story of Paul and Silas singing in prison, found in Acts 16, plagued my thoughts. I wasn't experiencing anything close to the burdens and persecution that Paul and Silas had faced, but they were still led to sing, from their prison cell. I wasn't in prison, and I wasn't singing.
This, along with a number of other life circumstances, is what led up to my faith crisis. "Either God isn't who He says He is, or I have an inaccurate view of God." In the depths of my soul, I knew my God was real, but He needed to prove himself. I was emotionally done and spiritually drained when I pulled up to the lakehouse. "Ok God...let's throw down." :)
I knew that I 'should' sing in the most detrimental of circumstances simply because of who God is, but I wondered if I would ever actually 'feel' like singing.
But upon my return home, as I walked over to grab the mic during a Rock Band session at the youth center, I thought to myself "what am I doing...I don't sing" as the lyrics poured from my mouth. (albeit without much talent...God didn't work that miracle)
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:3
This, along with a number of other life circumstances, is what led up to my faith crisis. "Either God isn't who He says He is, or I have an inaccurate view of God." In the depths of my soul, I knew my God was real, but He needed to prove himself. I was emotionally done and spiritually drained when I pulled up to the lakehouse. "Ok God...let's throw down." :)
I knew that I 'should' sing in the most detrimental of circumstances simply because of who God is, but I wondered if I would ever actually 'feel' like singing.
But upon my return home, as I walked over to grab the mic during a Rock Band session at the youth center, I thought to myself "what am I doing...I don't sing" as the lyrics poured from my mouth. (albeit without much talent...God didn't work that miracle)
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:3
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
I AM
I Am Lyrics
Artist:Ginny Owens
No Lord, he said, you've got the wrong guy
Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied
And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king
Or could it be I've lost my mind
Besides, I am weak, don't you want someone strong
To lead them out of Egypt when they've been there so long
And anyway, they won’t believe You ever spoke to me
It's not your problem, God replied
And the rest is history
’Cause there's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you I will show them, I Am
Now Lord, are you sure? He's just a shepherd boy
Too small for battle gear with a giant to destroy
What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling
It's not your problem, God replied
'Cause I can do anything
There's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them
I am the first, I am the last
I am the present and the past
I am tomorrow and today
I am the only way
Great Lord, she said, I'm just a simple girl
You say that I will bring your son into the world
How can I understand this thing You're gonna do
It's not your problem, God replied
'Cause, there's a bigger picture
And you don't have to change the world (oh no)
I'm your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them
There's a bigger picture, you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me
’Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them, I Am
I Am
Artist:Ginny Owens
No Lord, he said, you've got the wrong guy
Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied
And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king
Or could it be I've lost my mind
Besides, I am weak, don't you want someone strong
To lead them out of Egypt when they've been there so long
And anyway, they won’t believe You ever spoke to me
It's not your problem, God replied
And the rest is history
’Cause there's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you I will show them, I Am
Now Lord, are you sure? He's just a shepherd boy
Too small for battle gear with a giant to destroy
What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling
It's not your problem, God replied
'Cause I can do anything
There's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them
I am the first, I am the last
I am the present and the past
I am tomorrow and today
I am the only way
Great Lord, she said, I'm just a simple girl
You say that I will bring your son into the world
How can I understand this thing You're gonna do
It's not your problem, God replied
'Cause, there's a bigger picture
And you don't have to change the world (oh no)
I'm your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them
There's a bigger picture, you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me
’Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them, I Am
I Am
Monday, January 26, 2009
Clean up work of maturity
I have a Google alert setup on my last name "Chaffer," I did this after a distant relative of mine informed me that this was how he had occasionally kept up with my family's life. Interesting notion I thought, and my own alert was born.
However, since its fruition, not once have I been directed to anything of interest and therefore have pondered many times to deactivate the alert to remove the email nuisance. But procrastination runs deep in my veins.
This morning, something intrigued me to actually click on one of the articles. To which I found this delight:
The line that took residency in my heart was the following: "my friend jon kever leaned over to me when don finished speaking and said, "that was maturity cleaning up the talk."
Once my father reads the article, I'm sure he will chuckle at this line. It seems time and maturity have a way of bringing even the most zealous new believer into the humble and gracious hands of God.
But I do wonder, this question directed to my family and fellow Chaffer's, are we related to the mentioned Don Chaffer?
However, since its fruition, not once have I been directed to anything of interest and therefore have pondered many times to deactivate the alert to remove the email nuisance. But procrastination runs deep in my veins.
This morning, something intrigued me to actually click on one of the articles. To which I found this delight:
The line that took residency in my heart was the following: "my friend jon kever leaned over to me when don finished speaking and said, "that was maturity cleaning up the talk."
Once my father reads the article, I'm sure he will chuckle at this line. It seems time and maturity have a way of bringing even the most zealous new believer into the humble and gracious hands of God.
But I do wonder, this question directed to my family and fellow Chaffer's, are we related to the mentioned Don Chaffer?
Answering the Knock at Our Door
I'm not sure I can recall a time that I've ever been more fearful as I was while I drove out to the lakehouse. I was on a mission...to "find God." And I was scared to death He wasn't going to meet me there.
When it became painstakingly obvious that I was standing smack dab in the middle of a faith crisis, those who love me advised me to take the break.
I felt like I was standing on a fraying rope in the middle of a hail storm. With the wind blowing uncontrollably around me. I closed my eyes...and rested my chin on my praying hands... "I won't let go unless you bless me." became my mantra.
The lakehouse is owned by the "adopted" (more later) parents of one of my co-workers. They open it up as a place for retreats to those they know in ministry. Therefore, it is very intentionally sprinkled with scripture and evidences of God. After a very emotional drive, with tears streaming down my face and my vocals weary from screaming at God...I arrived. In a huff...I made my way around, getting the lay of the land, turning up the heat, turning on the water, etc. As I busied myself about, the scriptures from the decor began to slowly speak. "Hmmm...looks like you decided to show up after all God." And my transformation began.
"Each of us needs an opportunity to be alone, and silent, to find space in the day or in the week, just to reflect and to listen to the voice of God that speaks deep within us. Our search for God is only our response to God’s search for us. God knocks at our door, but for many people, our lives are too preoccupied for us to be able to hear.” ~ Cardinal Basil Hume
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
When it became painstakingly obvious that I was standing smack dab in the middle of a faith crisis, those who love me advised me to take the break.
I felt like I was standing on a fraying rope in the middle of a hail storm. With the wind blowing uncontrollably around me. I closed my eyes...and rested my chin on my praying hands... "I won't let go unless you bless me." became my mantra.
The lakehouse is owned by the "adopted" (more later) parents of one of my co-workers. They open it up as a place for retreats to those they know in ministry. Therefore, it is very intentionally sprinkled with scripture and evidences of God. After a very emotional drive, with tears streaming down my face and my vocals weary from screaming at God...I arrived. In a huff...I made my way around, getting the lay of the land, turning up the heat, turning on the water, etc. As I busied myself about, the scriptures from the decor began to slowly speak. "Hmmm...looks like you decided to show up after all God." And my transformation began."Each of us needs an opportunity to be alone, and silent, to find space in the day or in the week, just to reflect and to listen to the voice of God that speaks deep within us. Our search for God is only our response to God’s search for us. God knocks at our door, but for many people, our lives are too preoccupied for us to be able to hear.” ~ Cardinal Basil Hume
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
Monday, January 12, 2009
I miss my friend
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever." Psalm 138:8
When you begin to walk closely with the Lord and have come to understand and experience His love and blessing firsthand, perhaps it makes His time of silence all the more painful. Quite simply put...you miss Him.
You wrestle...and fight...and pray...and cry...and blame....and question
...and you might wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
but in His time and through His grace...you take a step...and suddenly you feel the familiar presence of a friend.
"Welcome back."
"I was always here."
"But I didn't feel you."
"Which only required you to dig deeper within your heart to find me."
You look around and begin to admire the scenery and notice a few new buds where spent blooms once remained.
"Let's rest here awhile."
In His silence...you must learn how to listen
...even when you miss Him.
From my devotion in the Psalms today...
"Your love, O Lord, endures forever." When you are on the mountain top, He loves you. When you are in the deepest, darkest valley, He loves you. He loved you before you were born. He loves you today and He will love you through all of your tomorrows. You are loved by Him.
When you begin to walk closely with the Lord and have come to understand and experience His love and blessing firsthand, perhaps it makes His time of silence all the more painful. Quite simply put...you miss Him.
You wrestle...and fight...and pray...and cry...and blame....and question
...and you might wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
but in His time and through His grace...you take a step...and suddenly you feel the familiar presence of a friend.
"Welcome back."
"I was always here."
"But I didn't feel you."
"Which only required you to dig deeper within your heart to find me."
You look around and begin to admire the scenery and notice a few new buds where spent blooms once remained.
"Let's rest here awhile."
In His silence...you must learn how to listen
...even when you miss Him.
From my devotion in the Psalms today...
"Your love, O Lord, endures forever." When you are on the mountain top, He loves you. When you are in the deepest, darkest valley, He loves you. He loved you before you were born. He loves you today and He will love you through all of your tomorrows. You are loved by Him.
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