A friend of mine recently shared with me a values search tool, which can serve both as a life guide map and as a time management tool. The thought here is that if you narrow down the top 3-5 core values you hold for your life and weigh everything from your daily tasks to your big life decisions against them to see how they measure up, it should help you prioritize and gain control of your life.
One of my core values was empowerment - the freedom to make liberating decisions to control my own life. Control...that's what so many of us desire is it not? But the interesting thing about holding this value for me personally is that it falls at #3 in the rankings, tucked a ways behind my #1 value which is serving and loving God and living out His will for my life.
So one might ask, isn't this in direct contradiction with the other. After all, if I am living out God's will, I can not possibly be living out my own. And if I have relinquished my own will, how can I claim to value control over my own life.
The answer is two-fold.
The first is that I accept that God is in control, but he allows me the freedom of free-will to control my own life. At any point God could step in and change any circumstance, he did create us after all. However, often times he chooses not to. Perhaps to allow us to understand the consequences of our own actions or to further his kingdom (although often times we don't see this until years later when we are reflecting back on situations which have come to pass).
The second is that I believe and accept that God has a purpose for my life and have dedicated my life to fulfilling it. This is where it is crucial that I remain empowered to do so.
I want to share a few of T.D. Jakes' thoughts from his book, Maximize The Moment, "God created you for a purpose, you are destined to accomplish certain things."..."God has given you the map; it is your calling to follow it."..."You should not, cannot, and do not need to control someone else's life; you just need to control your own." And I'll end with Jake's most important point he leaves his readers with, "You do not have to please anyone except God, our Father. We are accountable to Him alone."
Jakes' advice for staying on track: "Constantly take inventory of your life and determine what does and doesn't work for you. If you want to maximize your life and fulfill the plan that God has for you, you must take control of your life. Know when to say when, trim off the excess, and release yourself from the past. You cannot soar to great heights if you are weighted down with excess baggage. Learn to let go so you can fly."
Make no mistake, living in God's will - I had to surrender my own. To live in Christ, I had to die to my self.
But to tell you the truth...it was my own self who was always longing...always searching...but never finding...true lasting joy. I can not say the same for my surrendered soul in Christ.
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. John 12:24
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Easy Button
I can't stop being awe struck by God's blessing on this ministry right now. For going through such a dry spell...and feeling like we were producing very little "fruit"...it seems He was preparing the harvest for a time such as this.
I share with you a note from one of the girl's in my small group. They were all complaining about not being able to understand the Bible. A friend of mine recently shared a success story in overcoming this challenge among teens that I decided to implement, she called it the "easy button" approach. You read scripture from a traditional Bible translation, and if the kids don't understand, they holler out "easy button" and someone reads the same scripture from The Message (street lingo Bible). We did this one night to show the girl's that the Bible really is relevant, once you start to understand what is written. For the first time I saw some excitement surface for the Word. I decided to buy them teen focused Bibles to further their journey...
brandy
Thanks for that conversation...it made me feel better... and thanks for the bible...i started reading genesis...it was really easy to read...i thought it was really cool that he made adam out of dust... and eve from adams rib...and can you believe how those 2 brothers and father sold his son...and they made him a slave with the pharaohs...it was really awesome.
Why didn't someone give me an easy button to ministry a long time ago? ;)
I share with you a note from one of the girl's in my small group. They were all complaining about not being able to understand the Bible. A friend of mine recently shared a success story in overcoming this challenge among teens that I decided to implement, she called it the "easy button" approach. You read scripture from a traditional Bible translation, and if the kids don't understand, they holler out "easy button" and someone reads the same scripture from The Message (street lingo Bible). We did this one night to show the girl's that the Bible really is relevant, once you start to understand what is written. For the first time I saw some excitement surface for the Word. I decided to buy them teen focused Bibles to further their journey...
brandy
Thanks for that conversation...it made me feel better... and thanks for the bible...i started reading genesis...it was really easy to read...i thought it was really cool that he made adam out of dust... and eve from adams rib...and can you believe how those 2 brothers and father sold his son...and they made him a slave with the pharaohs...it was really awesome.
Why didn't someone give me an easy button to ministry a long time ago? ;)
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Holy Discontent
Perhaps I've written on this topic before...but this morning it is captivating me. Holy Discontent is a Bill Hybels term (Willow Creek Senior Pastor).
What is the one aspect of this broken world that, when you see it, touch it, get near it, you just can't stand? Very likely, that firestorm of frustration reflects your holy discontent, a reality so troubling that you are thrust off the couch and into the game. It's during these defining times when your eyes open to the needs surrounding you and your heart hungers to respond that you hear God say, "I feel the same way about this problem. Now, let's go solve it together!"
We're talking a lot as a staff lately about our holy discontents. And I'm reminded once again how confused I was early on as a Christian when people spoke about burdens placed on their hearts. "I have a burden for orphans" I might here someone say. And the only thought response I had running through my head was "burden?...what's wrong with them that they consider it a burden to care for orphans?" But a bit further down my journey, I understand that it really is a burden. This morning as I reflect on my own holy discontent and the latest QC violence, their families and community...the kids I'm ministering to...the amazing progress I have seen lately (truly a blessing from God) and the painful pasts many of my girls shared with me in confidence...I'm utterly heartbroken by all of the pain...overjoyed with the progress...but brought to my knees with sorrow. It is a burden not to be able to shake the heartache...but it is a burden...I would give the world...to be privileged enough to carry.
We were asked to define our holy discontent. Mine was molded in Romania...but has been intricately carved out in Rock Island. What thrusts me off of the couch are children without hope. Children surrounded by suffocating circumstances. Children who we don't HAVE to help as a society. Children perhaps the world, government, community and even family have forgotten. But in Christ...we are called to take action.
On that plane ride home from Romania...gazing down on my last sights of such a "forgotten" country...one thought consumed me..."if those ministries weren't in those orphanages...reaching out to those children...no one would be."
This defines my holy discontent.
What defines yours?
Hybels' own experience with "holy discontent" grew out of observing "churches who don't care about people who are far from God," he said. That led him not only to start Willow Creek Church nearly 30 years ago, but also to lead the "seeker-sensitive" movement, which presents the gospel to people who are "far from God" in ways that will bring them close to God and eventually to faith in Christ.
"What can't you stand?" Hybels asked. He cited a litany of possible answers for church leaders -- "injustice, extreme poverty, racism, homelessness, AIDS, immoral business practices, dysfunctional churches, ... crappy music, crooked politicians [and] young people drifting further and further away from God."
Hybels offered Christians three tips about finding and following up on "holy discontent."
First, "it's not everything you get upset about," he said. "We ought to be looking for that one cause that grabs us by the throat and won't let us go."
Second, don't give up if the object of discontent is not obvious, he added. "Keep exposing your heart. ... Travel more in the world. Visit an AIDS clinic or a Habitat [for Humanity] build." Keep on looking.
Third, don't run from it, he said. "Most of us run from our firestorm of frustration. One of the best things you can do is identify with it. ... When you find it, feed it. Increase your exposure. Stay close to your holy discontent."
('Holy discontent' can inspire good leaders, Hybels says - by Marv Knox)
What is the one aspect of this broken world that, when you see it, touch it, get near it, you just can't stand? Very likely, that firestorm of frustration reflects your holy discontent, a reality so troubling that you are thrust off the couch and into the game. It's during these defining times when your eyes open to the needs surrounding you and your heart hungers to respond that you hear God say, "I feel the same way about this problem. Now, let's go solve it together!"
We're talking a lot as a staff lately about our holy discontents. And I'm reminded once again how confused I was early on as a Christian when people spoke about burdens placed on their hearts. "I have a burden for orphans" I might here someone say. And the only thought response I had running through my head was "burden?...what's wrong with them that they consider it a burden to care for orphans?" But a bit further down my journey, I understand that it really is a burden. This morning as I reflect on my own holy discontent and the latest QC violence, their families and community...the kids I'm ministering to...the amazing progress I have seen lately (truly a blessing from God) and the painful pasts many of my girls shared with me in confidence...I'm utterly heartbroken by all of the pain...overjoyed with the progress...but brought to my knees with sorrow. It is a burden not to be able to shake the heartache...but it is a burden...I would give the world...to be privileged enough to carry.
We were asked to define our holy discontent. Mine was molded in Romania...but has been intricately carved out in Rock Island. What thrusts me off of the couch are children without hope. Children surrounded by suffocating circumstances. Children who we don't HAVE to help as a society. Children perhaps the world, government, community and even family have forgotten. But in Christ...we are called to take action.
On that plane ride home from Romania...gazing down on my last sights of such a "forgotten" country...one thought consumed me..."if those ministries weren't in those orphanages...reaching out to those children...no one would be."
This defines my holy discontent.
What defines yours?
Hybels' own experience with "holy discontent" grew out of observing "churches who don't care about people who are far from God," he said. That led him not only to start Willow Creek Church nearly 30 years ago, but also to lead the "seeker-sensitive" movement, which presents the gospel to people who are "far from God" in ways that will bring them close to God and eventually to faith in Christ.
"What can't you stand?" Hybels asked. He cited a litany of possible answers for church leaders -- "injustice, extreme poverty, racism, homelessness, AIDS, immoral business practices, dysfunctional churches, ... crappy music, crooked politicians [and] young people drifting further and further away from God."
Hybels offered Christians three tips about finding and following up on "holy discontent."
First, "it's not everything you get upset about," he said. "We ought to be looking for that one cause that grabs us by the throat and won't let us go."
Second, don't give up if the object of discontent is not obvious, he added. "Keep exposing your heart. ... Travel more in the world. Visit an AIDS clinic or a Habitat [for Humanity] build." Keep on looking.
Third, don't run from it, he said. "Most of us run from our firestorm of frustration. One of the best things you can do is identify with it. ... When you find it, feed it. Increase your exposure. Stay close to your holy discontent."
('Holy discontent' can inspire good leaders, Hybels says - by Marv Knox)
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Lauren...the Warrior King
This past weekend a few teens and I had the opportunity to serve in the neighborhood where I live. I live in a historical district where beautifully restored homes are scattered amidst the decrepit. Each year the Broadway District pulls the community together for a Great Unveiling, where volunteers tear the siding off of old homes that have been purchased for restoration.
With the promise of free doughnuts and coffee, I showed up with 6 teens in tote. Let the demolition begin! It was an amazing day and the teens worked with a dedication I have rarely seen. Perhaps my proudest moments was when I announced breakfast had arrived and NOT ONE of them stopped working to eat. (This is a first!...of course they eventually did. ;) I had to leave mid-morning for some prior commitments, but the teens stayed behind to rip, tear and pull the siding down. When I came back to pick them up...compliments flooded the air..."Be careful, if the word gets out on the street about this crew...they'll have work lined up all summer... they are hard workers...they did an amazing job - they can come back anytime."
The YouthHope Job Squad was born! There are several other opportunities in our community to serve. I'm thinking about marketing this team of teens as a volunteer crew around the community. Services for free - donations welcome! Would be an excellent fundraiser for saving for that mission trip the teens dream of taking one day. Looks like I have work to do!
For many looking at this house, it was nothing but an eye sore, but for the new owners, they see the hidden treasure within. While talking to a neighbor, he introduced himself as "Lauren"..."yeah I never really liked my name growing up because it was feminine...but recently I found out that it means "Warrior King" and I've gained a new appreciation for it." This coming from a ~60 year old man, just made me smile. His whole life spent thinking of himself in one way...only to be repainted years later in another.
I must share from my morning devotional which referred to the Water Garden painting by Claude Monet. If studied long enough it may surprise many that the major part of the canvas is covered in dark shades of black, blue and green. These drab colors serve to highlight the beautiful floral pastels. Monet painted the dark tones to enhance the lighter.
From Weathering the Showers devotion by Beth Donigan Seversen...
"Monet's painting has much to remind me about the water garden of my life, and of its Artist. First, it encourages me that there is a purpose and design to my life, and that perhaps, at times, I focus too exclusively on the darker portions of my painting.
It also reminds me that my Lord, the Artist of my life, has intentionally allowed the blue, green, and, yes, sometimes even the gray and black hues to be brushed on my canvas for a reason. God uses these shadows to make my life richer. Often, when I look back on difficulties, such as my father's death, times when I have been misunderstood by friends or my expectations have been dashed, I can see, now, his handiwork creating a brilliance of color and beauty from pain and suffering. The Artist uses a multitude of techniques in our lives to help us become the people he created us to be."
Maybe...we are all Warrior Kings...waiting to be restored.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:10-11
With the promise of free doughnuts and coffee, I showed up with 6 teens in tote. Let the demolition begin! It was an amazing day and the teens worked with a dedication I have rarely seen. Perhaps my proudest moments was when I announced breakfast had arrived and NOT ONE of them stopped working to eat. (This is a first!...of course they eventually did. ;) I had to leave mid-morning for some prior commitments, but the teens stayed behind to rip, tear and pull the siding down. When I came back to pick them up...compliments flooded the air..."Be careful, if the word gets out on the street about this crew...they'll have work lined up all summer... they are hard workers...they did an amazing job - they can come back anytime."
The YouthHope Job Squad was born! There are several other opportunities in our community to serve. I'm thinking about marketing this team of teens as a volunteer crew around the community. Services for free - donations welcome! Would be an excellent fundraiser for saving for that mission trip the teens dream of taking one day. Looks like I have work to do!
For many looking at this house, it was nothing but an eye sore, but for the new owners, they see the hidden treasure within. While talking to a neighbor, he introduced himself as "Lauren"..."yeah I never really liked my name growing up because it was feminine...but recently I found out that it means "Warrior King" and I've gained a new appreciation for it." This coming from a ~60 year old man, just made me smile. His whole life spent thinking of himself in one way...only to be repainted years later in another.
I must share from my morning devotional which referred to the Water Garden painting by Claude Monet. If studied long enough it may surprise many that the major part of the canvas is covered in dark shades of black, blue and green. These drab colors serve to highlight the beautiful floral pastels. Monet painted the dark tones to enhance the lighter.
From Weathering the Showers devotion by Beth Donigan Seversen...
"Monet's painting has much to remind me about the water garden of my life, and of its Artist. First, it encourages me that there is a purpose and design to my life, and that perhaps, at times, I focus too exclusively on the darker portions of my painting.
It also reminds me that my Lord, the Artist of my life, has intentionally allowed the blue, green, and, yes, sometimes even the gray and black hues to be brushed on my canvas for a reason. God uses these shadows to make my life richer. Often, when I look back on difficulties, such as my father's death, times when I have been misunderstood by friends or my expectations have been dashed, I can see, now, his handiwork creating a brilliance of color and beauty from pain and suffering. The Artist uses a multitude of techniques in our lives to help us become the people he created us to be."
Maybe...we are all Warrior Kings...waiting to be restored.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:10-11
Thursday, April 17, 2008
True Reconciliation
Last night as I was preparing to leave the youth center, my cell phone rang, and it was the Moline Children's Director on the other end. "You know that shooting that occurred in East Moline...one of the girls in my small group witnessed it. She's extremely upset and just called me." A few moments later I walked into Chris's office and he had the article pulled up on his computer...talking to the Moline Teen Director..."Brandy he used to go the the Moline Youth Center and volunteer all the time as a teen." Talk about hitting home.
But truthfully I did not take the time to process the reality of it all until I was sitting in a staff meeting this afternoon. Our Executive Director had been called by a local news station requesting a special interview, "one which paints a positive twist on the kid involved who was killed." He seeked our advice on how he should handle it or if he should give the interview at all.
The debate...the picture had been painted...the 21 year old had a long rap sheet and allegedly had shot a police officer before being gunned down and killed. A guy that clearly deserves no mercy right? Well that's the easy conclusion to draw...and many already have. Of course there is the police officer who was shot to consider and his safety and well-being while in service to the community. I'm not here to debate the topic or to defend the 21 year old's actions...but instead only to share my heartbreak that won't release me.
As I read the newspaper article today...in my mind it wasn't about this East Moline young man. In my mind...it was one of my kids...who grew up and fell away. It was one of my kids...who I love with everything in me...who spend Sundays with me in church...and lunch at my house...who greet me with open arms on any street corner...with plenty of hugs to share. Yes...in my mind...I thought...what if...what if it's ever one of my kids someday?
What the CF staff remembers is the 14 year old boy that used to volunteer religiously at the Moline Youth Center...with a big smile no one could forget and potential to conquer the world. What the CF staff will never forget...is the one we lost...the one who fell away.
There is much community controversy in making a positive public statement about a guy that allegedly shot a police officer. Again, I'm not here to defend the point. I'm not sure if the interview was even made or what was said...but I hope somehow...somewhere...in someone's heart...they'll remember that 14 year old kid.
Situations such as these often further stimulate segregation in the community. Us vs. Them - Community vs. Law Enforcement - Our neighborhood vs. Their neighborhood - Black vs. White - Our kind vs. Their kind. And what comes to the forefront of my mind...is the desperate need...for true reconciliation...
I share with you part of the CCDA philosophy:
The question is: Can a gospel that reconciles people to God without reconciling people to people be the true gospel of Jesus Christ? A person's love for Christ should break down every racial, ethnic and economic barrier. As Christians come together to solve the problems of their community, the great challenge is to partner and witness together across these barriers in order to demonstrate our oneness in Christ. Christian Community Development recognizes that the task of loving the poor is shared by the entire body of Christ, black, white, brown, and yellow; rich and poor; urban and suburban; educated and uneducated. While the Bible transcends culture and race, the church is still having a hard time with living out the reality of our unity in Christ. Christian Community Development is intentional about reconciliation and works hard to bring people of all races and cultures into the one worshipping body of Christ. This comes not so much through a program but through a commitment to living together in the same neighborhood. The power of authentic reconciliation between us and God, and between people of every culture and race is an essential component of effective ministry in our hurting world.
But truthfully I did not take the time to process the reality of it all until I was sitting in a staff meeting this afternoon. Our Executive Director had been called by a local news station requesting a special interview, "one which paints a positive twist on the kid involved who was killed." He seeked our advice on how he should handle it or if he should give the interview at all.
The debate...the picture had been painted...the 21 year old had a long rap sheet and allegedly had shot a police officer before being gunned down and killed. A guy that clearly deserves no mercy right? Well that's the easy conclusion to draw...and many already have. Of course there is the police officer who was shot to consider and his safety and well-being while in service to the community. I'm not here to debate the topic or to defend the 21 year old's actions...but instead only to share my heartbreak that won't release me.
As I read the newspaper article today...in my mind it wasn't about this East Moline young man. In my mind...it was one of my kids...who grew up and fell away. It was one of my kids...who I love with everything in me...who spend Sundays with me in church...and lunch at my house...who greet me with open arms on any street corner...with plenty of hugs to share. Yes...in my mind...I thought...what if...what if it's ever one of my kids someday?
What the CF staff remembers is the 14 year old boy that used to volunteer religiously at the Moline Youth Center...with a big smile no one could forget and potential to conquer the world. What the CF staff will never forget...is the one we lost...the one who fell away.
There is much community controversy in making a positive public statement about a guy that allegedly shot a police officer. Again, I'm not here to defend the point. I'm not sure if the interview was even made or what was said...but I hope somehow...somewhere...in someone's heart...they'll remember that 14 year old kid.
Situations such as these often further stimulate segregation in the community. Us vs. Them - Community vs. Law Enforcement - Our neighborhood vs. Their neighborhood - Black vs. White - Our kind vs. Their kind. And what comes to the forefront of my mind...is the desperate need...for true reconciliation...
I share with you part of the CCDA philosophy:
The question is: Can a gospel that reconciles people to God without reconciling people to people be the true gospel of Jesus Christ? A person's love for Christ should break down every racial, ethnic and economic barrier. As Christians come together to solve the problems of their community, the great challenge is to partner and witness together across these barriers in order to demonstrate our oneness in Christ. Christian Community Development recognizes that the task of loving the poor is shared by the entire body of Christ, black, white, brown, and yellow; rich and poor; urban and suburban; educated and uneducated. While the Bible transcends culture and race, the church is still having a hard time with living out the reality of our unity in Christ. Christian Community Development is intentional about reconciliation and works hard to bring people of all races and cultures into the one worshipping body of Christ. This comes not so much through a program but through a commitment to living together in the same neighborhood. The power of authentic reconciliation between us and God, and between people of every culture and race is an essential component of effective ministry in our hurting world.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Our Heritage...
Beth Moore has had a pretty fantastic impact on my faith walk. Breaking Free (highly recommend this study!) was the first Bible study I attended, and remember instantly being intrigued by her energy and passion for Christ. I was also taken aback by her "coolness" thinking..."Wow...this woman is amazing and hip and loves Christ like no other I've ever seen. Maybe this faith stuff isn't so bad after all." Then she proceeded to walk me through a journey during a particularly difficult time of my life...and for the first time deliver me on the free side of the chains I had been caught up in by the world.
It was another Bible study of hers a few months ago I completed through my church. This particular day she was speaking about our Heritage - what helped shape who we are today - who we will become. She spoke about her own heritage and the incredible women of faith that molded her...she spoke of the heritage of the Jews...and what a precious gem their heritage truly is...to share the heritage of Jesus Christ.
I remember reflecting on my own heritage. As I walked through the blessings of my childhood on the farm...raised by two amazing parents...with a passion and dedication to hard work and family values...I was quite content in my heritage. But in my limited understanding of God's plan...to some extent I drew the conclusion..."see God...aren't I supposed to be a farm wife - isn't that my heritage...to watch the corn and my children grow?" God left me hanging on this one for awhile.
This weekend as my entire extended family attended my grandmother's funeral services, we learned a bigger picture of our heritage. We learned of a woman, fondly nick-named the "Bulldog" in church because of her relentless dedication to ensure the children and youth of the church were relevantly being served. We learned of a woman dedicated to missions and helping the least of these. We learned of an amazing mother, grandmother, wife and friend.
It made me reflect once again on the letters she has written to me. And this time I caught a glimpse of her as a passionate woman vs. the "grandmother box" I had always put her in. I remember conversations I'd had with her about my dad. "Brandy...he's always had a heart for the least of these...he always reached out to those in need...those in trouble...it doesn't surprise me that he loves working with the kids you bring to the farm."
My heritage.
My sister just called with a funny Gracie (niece) story...
They've been discussing lately how God will sometimes 'call' you to do something or serve in some way...
With her 4yr. old eyes closed in prayer..."God when you 'tell' on me...I'll be there." The little eyes peered open at her mom..."Do think he's going to 'tell' on me?"
The story warms my soul...but to Gracie...she is simply living out...our heritage.
It was another Bible study of hers a few months ago I completed through my church. This particular day she was speaking about our Heritage - what helped shape who we are today - who we will become. She spoke about her own heritage and the incredible women of faith that molded her...she spoke of the heritage of the Jews...and what a precious gem their heritage truly is...to share the heritage of Jesus Christ.
I remember reflecting on my own heritage. As I walked through the blessings of my childhood on the farm...raised by two amazing parents...with a passion and dedication to hard work and family values...I was quite content in my heritage. But in my limited understanding of God's plan...to some extent I drew the conclusion..."see God...aren't I supposed to be a farm wife - isn't that my heritage...to watch the corn and my children grow?" God left me hanging on this one for awhile.
This weekend as my entire extended family attended my grandmother's funeral services, we learned a bigger picture of our heritage. We learned of a woman, fondly nick-named the "Bulldog" in church because of her relentless dedication to ensure the children and youth of the church were relevantly being served. We learned of a woman dedicated to missions and helping the least of these. We learned of an amazing mother, grandmother, wife and friend.
It made me reflect once again on the letters she has written to me. And this time I caught a glimpse of her as a passionate woman vs. the "grandmother box" I had always put her in. I remember conversations I'd had with her about my dad. "Brandy...he's always had a heart for the least of these...he always reached out to those in need...those in trouble...it doesn't surprise me that he loves working with the kids you bring to the farm."
My heritage.
My sister just called with a funny Gracie (niece) story...
They've been discussing lately how God will sometimes 'call' you to do something or serve in some way...
With her 4yr. old eyes closed in prayer..."God when you 'tell' on me...I'll be there." The little eyes peered open at her mom..."Do think he's going to 'tell' on me?"
The story warms my soul...but to Gracie...she is simply living out...our heritage.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Answered Prayers...
God has thoroughly amazed me once again. In a Beth Moore Bible study I completed awhile ago, I remember her saying that we are always trying to put God in a box. We learn something about him and then we draw the conclusion..."ok...so that's the way God is" when instead we should reach a verdict that more closely resembles..."God is this way...and more."
Journaling tells a pretty fantastic testimony. As I browse through the pages of my life the past few months...amazed is the only word that begins to summarize. One by one I raised my requests to God...
They started with desperate pleas...I was feeling completely and utterly inadequate for my position...and I watched as he helped me understand "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart." Psalm 51:17. I read through the pages of this broken spirit being laid before him...and watched him restore a new found strength and confidence...in Him.
I kept reading...as I asked to understand love in a February entry: "I wonder if I can truly love on this earth, until I fully realize what it means to love and be loved by the Father. I see one theme standing out to me lately. It is one of obedience." And I referenced two scriptures:
This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. 1 John 5:2-3
And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. 2 John 1:6
While the concept of obedience vs. love did nothing for the hopeless romantic in me...I committed to walking in obedience...on my search to walk in love.
Amazed I was the sunny morning on the bike path as I tried to make sense of different relationships I had recently experienced with people. One person in particular it became evidently clear...had been put in my life for a moment...so that I could experience the heart of God. When you are so dedicated to pursuing God's heart...God's heart can't help but radiate from you. God knows I learn much better from example...so he allowed me to experience it. As this realization flooded over me...I smiled...and found peace. I obeyed...God showed me love. Furthermore, if I find myself being loved...it will only be because they have fallen in love with the only part of me worth loving...God...in me.
And finally...a late February entry...I watched myself surrender..."I've been fighting. Fighting letting go of old dreams, holding onto an image I painted of myself. Fighting who you say I am, of what you say I am capable of in you. I've been fighting. I'm scared. Scared I won't be happy - scared I won't be successful or capable - scared I'll always carry regret. But all of these worries and fears have brought me what? Turmoil. Father on my heart this morning is simple...surrender. Surrender to my calling...surrender to your will. But most importantly...surrender to trusting you. Trusting your plans for my life are greater than mine. Surrender in you I find peace. Surrender."
It was a pretty cool feeling in church yesterday when the pastor asked us to write down our fears on a sticky note and attach them to a cross at the front of the sanctuary. And literally...I sat there and tried to come up with a fear..."I've always feared failure...but I've failed so many times this past year and God has seen my through...I'm no longer afraid...I used to fear vulnerability...but God has given me courage...I was scared of being inadequate...but God proved that I was when left to my own strength but I can do all things through Him...I used to fear not knowing where my life was heading...but I now completely trust wherever He is taking me. I used to fear regret...but no longer hold onto it. Hmmmmmm....I guess I'll just sit here and praise Him for answered prayer."
A friend of mine said he prayed a specific prayer for me the other night...and to remind him in a couple months to tell me what he prayed...if I forget...someone remind me to ask...to check in to see...if I have another answered prayer.
Journaling tells a pretty fantastic testimony. As I browse through the pages of my life the past few months...amazed is the only word that begins to summarize. One by one I raised my requests to God...
They started with desperate pleas...I was feeling completely and utterly inadequate for my position...and I watched as he helped me understand "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart." Psalm 51:17. I read through the pages of this broken spirit being laid before him...and watched him restore a new found strength and confidence...in Him.
I kept reading...as I asked to understand love in a February entry: "I wonder if I can truly love on this earth, until I fully realize what it means to love and be loved by the Father. I see one theme standing out to me lately. It is one of obedience." And I referenced two scriptures:
This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. 1 John 5:2-3
And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love. 2 John 1:6
While the concept of obedience vs. love did nothing for the hopeless romantic in me...I committed to walking in obedience...on my search to walk in love.
Amazed I was the sunny morning on the bike path as I tried to make sense of different relationships I had recently experienced with people. One person in particular it became evidently clear...had been put in my life for a moment...so that I could experience the heart of God. When you are so dedicated to pursuing God's heart...God's heart can't help but radiate from you. God knows I learn much better from example...so he allowed me to experience it. As this realization flooded over me...I smiled...and found peace. I obeyed...God showed me love. Furthermore, if I find myself being loved...it will only be because they have fallen in love with the only part of me worth loving...God...in me.
And finally...a late February entry...I watched myself surrender..."I've been fighting. Fighting letting go of old dreams, holding onto an image I painted of myself. Fighting who you say I am, of what you say I am capable of in you. I've been fighting. I'm scared. Scared I won't be happy - scared I won't be successful or capable - scared I'll always carry regret. But all of these worries and fears have brought me what? Turmoil. Father on my heart this morning is simple...surrender. Surrender to my calling...surrender to your will. But most importantly...surrender to trusting you. Trusting your plans for my life are greater than mine. Surrender in you I find peace. Surrender."
It was a pretty cool feeling in church yesterday when the pastor asked us to write down our fears on a sticky note and attach them to a cross at the front of the sanctuary. And literally...I sat there and tried to come up with a fear..."I've always feared failure...but I've failed so many times this past year and God has seen my through...I'm no longer afraid...I used to fear vulnerability...but God has given me courage...I was scared of being inadequate...but God proved that I was when left to my own strength but I can do all things through Him...I used to fear not knowing where my life was heading...but I now completely trust wherever He is taking me. I used to fear regret...but no longer hold onto it. Hmmmmmm....I guess I'll just sit here and praise Him for answered prayer."
A friend of mine said he prayed a specific prayer for me the other night...and to remind him in a couple months to tell me what he prayed...if I forget...someone remind me to ask...to check in to see...if I have another answered prayer.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Think about such things...
This morning...a scripture is dancing gently in my head...and it brings a smile to my heart...and comfort to my soul...
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:4-9
Friday, April 11, 2008
Real Wisdom
Last night as I sat holding her hand...I couldn't help but think about all of the wisdom she must hold. I watched as my grandmother took her last breaths...as Jesus walked her home.
I'm not too far away from entering my 30's...and for a year many people dread...I look at it with excited anticipation. For what I have learned in the first 30 years will help mold the next 30.
The ironic thing about wisdom...real wisdom...is that it rarely indwells the young.
Taken from a devotional by Luci Swindoll..."When I calmly look life in the eye, having grown wise from beating and flapping against its imperfections, learning to compromise, and accepting the fact that everyone and everything has its shortcomings: Life will have given me truth, and taken in exchange, my youth. In advertently, one is given up for the other."
This thought drove me this morning to dig out a couple letters grandma had written to me during particular highs and lows of my life...and reading them years later...I better discern the wisdom she was passing on..."Keep your eyes focused on the Lord"..."Make memories with friends in the years spend unattached"..."Value your education"..."Go to church."
Two Kinds of Wisdom
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18
I looked around the room at the faces of the "harvest" my grandmother had raised...and basked in the quote my parents have often repeated...passed down through the years..."The best crop this farm has ever produced is our children." Thank you for the many years sown in peace. Thank you for your good life, done by deeds in the humility that comes from wisdom. Rest in peace grandma. Until we meet again...
I'm not too far away from entering my 30's...and for a year many people dread...I look at it with excited anticipation. For what I have learned in the first 30 years will help mold the next 30.
The ironic thing about wisdom...real wisdom...is that it rarely indwells the young.
Taken from a devotional by Luci Swindoll..."When I calmly look life in the eye, having grown wise from beating and flapping against its imperfections, learning to compromise, and accepting the fact that everyone and everything has its shortcomings: Life will have given me truth, and taken in exchange, my youth. In advertently, one is given up for the other."
This thought drove me this morning to dig out a couple letters grandma had written to me during particular highs and lows of my life...and reading them years later...I better discern the wisdom she was passing on..."Keep your eyes focused on the Lord"..."Make memories with friends in the years spend unattached"..."Value your education"..."Go to church."
Two Kinds of Wisdom
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18
I looked around the room at the faces of the "harvest" my grandmother had raised...and basked in the quote my parents have often repeated...passed down through the years..."The best crop this farm has ever produced is our children." Thank you for the many years sown in peace. Thank you for your good life, done by deeds in the humility that comes from wisdom. Rest in peace grandma. Until we meet again...
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Storms...
I do not remember a time of my life when I have felt so blessed. Awhile ago during a Bible study, we discussed how people are either going through a storm, just getting out of a storm, or another storm is on its way. One might ask...why so many storms?
As much as I would like to think that I can learn from other people's mistakes and experiences, (and to some degree I can)...the real lessons are learned when my own world is storming. The first year of ministry has been perhaps the most trying year of my life. Somewhere along the way, I actually sat and wrote a list of the many things I felt God was trying to cleanse from me. It was an ugly list, with the front-runners including pride and selfishness and self-reliance (no dependence on God). And as I looked at the list several months into my struggles, I wondered how much longer they would battle. After all, I was growing weary. Many a night I spent in tears begging God to remove the weight of it all...but I always heard him say..."it’s not time yet child." And slowly...one by one...those ugly attributes began to surrender.
I did not welcome the storm...but I am a better person because it came to pass.
I thought "self-sufficient, driven, highly-motivated Brandy" was going to impact the West End of Rock Island...boy did I misgauge when that girl was humbly brought to her knees. In one of the many books I am currently reading while I pursue an Urban Youth Ministry Certificate...the following sentence sprung from the page..."The Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self." (In the Name of Jesus, Nouwen)
I was literally stripped down over this past year...until the only being which remained was that of my own vulnerable self...with nothing else left to offer. And it was that being that God began to bless. Pieces of this ministry, community and neighborhood are falling into place in a way words can not describe. During a summer planning session with many organizations from the area, one lady commented, “You guys are starting to give me goose bumps”...as the walls of competition fell and the foundation of community collaboration was laid.
They are apparently calling snow once again this weekend. :( But regardless of the storm...I'm going to run in the sunshine...dance in the rain...or make a snow angel once again. It's not storming in my world.
As much as I would like to think that I can learn from other people's mistakes and experiences, (and to some degree I can)...the real lessons are learned when my own world is storming. The first year of ministry has been perhaps the most trying year of my life. Somewhere along the way, I actually sat and wrote a list of the many things I felt God was trying to cleanse from me. It was an ugly list, with the front-runners including pride and selfishness and self-reliance (no dependence on God). And as I looked at the list several months into my struggles, I wondered how much longer they would battle. After all, I was growing weary. Many a night I spent in tears begging God to remove the weight of it all...but I always heard him say..."it’s not time yet child." And slowly...one by one...those ugly attributes began to surrender.
I did not welcome the storm...but I am a better person because it came to pass.
I thought "self-sufficient, driven, highly-motivated Brandy" was going to impact the West End of Rock Island...boy did I misgauge when that girl was humbly brought to her knees. In one of the many books I am currently reading while I pursue an Urban Youth Ministry Certificate...the following sentence sprung from the page..."The Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self." (In the Name of Jesus, Nouwen)
I was literally stripped down over this past year...until the only being which remained was that of my own vulnerable self...with nothing else left to offer. And it was that being that God began to bless. Pieces of this ministry, community and neighborhood are falling into place in a way words can not describe. During a summer planning session with many organizations from the area, one lady commented, “You guys are starting to give me goose bumps”...as the walls of competition fell and the foundation of community collaboration was laid.
They are apparently calling snow once again this weekend. :( But regardless of the storm...I'm going to run in the sunshine...dance in the rain...or make a snow angel once again. It's not storming in my world.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Looks like we'll be walking...
While there are hundreds of reasons why I love my job...tonight her name was Ebony. Ebony has been walking a tightrope since I met her. Literally I have watched as she has been pulled to both sides. Tempted by drinking and parties and guys...flirting on the edge of the rope...but somehow remaining centered enough so far to prevent from falling. We had to ask her to take a break from Teen Staff awhile back. We encouraged her to evaluate her priorities...and take some time to herself...away from her responsibilities at CF. She still attended youth group, but no longer worked it. It was a hard balance for us to know how much time to give her on her own, when to intervene, etc. Chris (Teen Director) and I both agreed that we thought it was time to invite her back. Tonight I picked her up from her track meet and over pasta and calzones...gave her our proposal. Show us you are serious about walking the line...and we'll walk with you. She agreed to rearrange her schedule to make time for church, attend a small group Bible study with me and re-commit her life to being a good peer leader.
Looks like we'll be walking. :)
Ebony recently performed the lead part in a drama for our fundraising banquet. I share with you a video, which inspired the drama. As soon as I have the footage from the banquet, perhaps I will replace this version with a copy of our teen’s performance vs. the inspiration for it. They did a phenomenal job and received a standing ovation for the performance. Leaving not a dry eye in the place as the drama truly encapsulated the line our teens walk...the line we have all walked…and the saving grace it’s ok to fall into...
Looks like we'll be walking. :)
Ebony recently performed the lead part in a drama for our fundraising banquet. I share with you a video, which inspired the drama. As soon as I have the footage from the banquet, perhaps I will replace this version with a copy of our teen’s performance vs. the inspiration for it. They did a phenomenal job and received a standing ovation for the performance. Leaving not a dry eye in the place as the drama truly encapsulated the line our teens walk...the line we have all walked…and the saving grace it’s ok to fall into...
Thursday, April 3, 2008
I do too
"Where you at Big Marquee...where you at Baby?" And Amari shuts the door. I don't remember when he started this little ritual...or what it even means...or if I've even ever really understood what exactly it is he is saying...but regardless of the circumstance or the time of day...these are the last words he leaves me with every time he departs the van. My limited understanding does not prevent the words from warming my heart and painting a smile on my face each and every time I hear them.
One of the girls from my 7th grade small group was riding shotgun last night as I dropped him off. Through her laughter at hearing his proclamation for the second time...she inquired..."What does that even mean Brandy?" I have no clue my dear...but I'm only going to worry when he stops saying it. :)
The kids stomp team, lead by our Executive Director's wife, practiced last night, as part of our creative arts outreach. As we were walking out the door...she glanced over her shoulder as the kids broke into play...freed from the restraint practice requires. "I want these kids to make it Brandy...and the statistics aren't good." We paused and watched them for a moment in silence...long enough to allow the reality of how much we have truly come to love them sink in. "I do too Sarah...I do too."
One of the girls from my 7th grade small group was riding shotgun last night as I dropped him off. Through her laughter at hearing his proclamation for the second time...she inquired..."What does that even mean Brandy?" I have no clue my dear...but I'm only going to worry when he stops saying it. :)
The kids stomp team, lead by our Executive Director's wife, practiced last night, as part of our creative arts outreach. As we were walking out the door...she glanced over her shoulder as the kids broke into play...freed from the restraint practice requires. "I want these kids to make it Brandy...and the statistics aren't good." We paused and watched them for a moment in silence...long enough to allow the reality of how much we have truly come to love them sink in. "I do too Sarah...I do too."
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