But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
I remember how much Good Friday impacted me this year. It was the first time I experienced Easter weekend fully realizing the impact of Christ's sacrifice...and what it meant to me. I imagined standing at the foot of the cross as his mother did...absorbed with grief...while others scorned him. I imagined how much his words spoken from the cross would have penetrated me. I imagined darkness falling mid-day...as he breathed his last breath. I imagined being consumed by the loss...he willingly endured. I'm not sure I would have found the strength to move in those moments that followed. Amidst my reflections...I somberly left the evening church service into the darkness...it was the first time I realized what Jesus had actually done...for me.
As this holiday season crept upon us...I wondered how Christmas would feel.
Earlier this month, the Rock Island Teen Director, Chris and his wife had their first child...a precious baby girl named Jada. Tiny fingers...tiny toes...wide eyes...filled with innocence and dependence. Perfectly emulating the true miracle of new life.
This past Saturday night, we had a Christmas party for the 5th-12th grade youth. The center was packed...with 70 kids in the house. When it came time for message...the ice storm outside helped us keep our attendance (the rougher youth have a tendency to walk home vs. staying for message)...Chris began by holding up a picture of his baby girl. Of course the room was at half attention...some ears honing in...while others scorned and scoffed at hearing the Christmas message. But, he went on..."honestly when I look at her...I'm not sure I could give her up. I'm not sure I could sacrifice her...for people who don't understand...people...who don't even care...but that is what God did...when he sent his only son."
For the first time I considered how much God must have loved Jesus...I imagined Mary first peering at that precious baby boy. I imagined his tiny fingers and toes...his wide eyes...his dependence and innocence. But then I paused...and I imagined his purpose. Sent to walk among us...sent to die for us. Chris's words came back to me, "I'm not sure I could sacrifice her...for people who don't understand...people...who don't even care." As I looked around the room...I realized it was full of these people...but as I reflected...I realized I used to be one of them. And that precious child was sent...to die...for me.
In the midst of his torture...in the midst of his sacrifice...from the cross...Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34
This is Christmas...for me.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Go to the people
I'm excited to reach a vision that hasn't yet been defined. God has His hand on this ministry. No one involved will deny that. But where is He leading? Our souls have been shaken. Charity deemed unacceptable. Our hearts stir. We're not called to justify the ministry...we are called to strengthen a community.
The following poem is used as a philosophical guide to those working on Christian Community Development.
Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have:
But of the best leaders when their task is done
The people will remark "We have done it ourselves."
We are called to help a community strengthen themselves.
The following poem is used as a philosophical guide to those working on Christian Community Development.
Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have:
But of the best leaders when their task is done
The people will remark "We have done it ourselves."
We are called to help a community strengthen themselves.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Wait for the Lord
"Wait for the Lord: be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:14
"This ministry...these kids... isn't what is going to burn me out. It is the feeling of mediocrity." Myself and the Moline Children's Director sat in the van...in the parking lot...solving the world's problems...yet again. Our nature is strikingly similar in some respects...one being the perfectionist nature that lies within us. Are we impacting lives...are we impacting enough lives? Will we really live to see a difference in these kids?
I read another article from my now favorite Youth Worker Journal which stated: "I'm sure all of us can remember an incident in the last month where we were asked, "How many youth do you have in your youth ministry? But how many of us can remember the last time someone asked, "Where are you and your youth spiritually?" Would we even know the answer?"
I'm not sure that I would. At minimum, I'm not sure that I would like my answer.
We had to put Ebony on suspension from Teen Staff due to a lack of respect and responsibility. In the end, I shared much frustration for her over the situation. But then I paused and asked myself how much have I poured into her? I have taken much of her spirituality for granted; after all, she is Teen Staff. And I’m responsible for K-6th clubs, full of chaos and stress which I expect her to help plan and prep for. But, do I ever pause long enough to pour into her?
Sometimes I think those in ministry feel the busier we are and the more we do, the more we are serving. But I've come to find out...when we don't wait on the Lord to fuel us...we end up spitting out fumes. Anyone can review a children's sermon, stand up and deliver the message. But are we willing to slow down...open God's word...and allow Him to give us the words to speak?
When I left Romania, someone asked me what I would miss the most. “The pace...I’m going to miss the slower pace.” I responded. I still remember the first day I spent back on U.S. soil. Walking outside and taking in the sunshine...feeling the gentle breeze...enjoying the natural blessings of the day. It is a constant battle for me...the pace of the world vs. God's steady stride. Occasionally, I’m gently reminded...to wait for the Lord.
"This ministry...these kids... isn't what is going to burn me out. It is the feeling of mediocrity." Myself and the Moline Children's Director sat in the van...in the parking lot...solving the world's problems...yet again. Our nature is strikingly similar in some respects...one being the perfectionist nature that lies within us. Are we impacting lives...are we impacting enough lives? Will we really live to see a difference in these kids?
I read another article from my now favorite Youth Worker Journal which stated: "I'm sure all of us can remember an incident in the last month where we were asked, "How many youth do you have in your youth ministry? But how many of us can remember the last time someone asked, "Where are you and your youth spiritually?" Would we even know the answer?"
I'm not sure that I would. At minimum, I'm not sure that I would like my answer.
We had to put Ebony on suspension from Teen Staff due to a lack of respect and responsibility. In the end, I shared much frustration for her over the situation. But then I paused and asked myself how much have I poured into her? I have taken much of her spirituality for granted; after all, she is Teen Staff. And I’m responsible for K-6th clubs, full of chaos and stress which I expect her to help plan and prep for. But, do I ever pause long enough to pour into her?
Sometimes I think those in ministry feel the busier we are and the more we do, the more we are serving. But I've come to find out...when we don't wait on the Lord to fuel us...we end up spitting out fumes. Anyone can review a children's sermon, stand up and deliver the message. But are we willing to slow down...open God's word...and allow Him to give us the words to speak?
When I left Romania, someone asked me what I would miss the most. “The pace...I’m going to miss the slower pace.” I responded. I still remember the first day I spent back on U.S. soil. Walking outside and taking in the sunshine...feeling the gentle breeze...enjoying the natural blessings of the day. It is a constant battle for me...the pace of the world vs. God's steady stride. Occasionally, I’m gently reminded...to wait for the Lord.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Faith so small...
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20-21
I still remember what it was like the day I posted signs at work to help promote the shoe drive for Shoes for Orphan Souls (through Buckner Orphan Care International). I had only recently heard about the organization and the mission after briefly tuning into the local Christian radio station. I was barely flirting with the idea of Christianity at that time, but knew that I had to take action for the cause.
I'm not a nervous person, but I quite likely shook as I was taping up the signs. After all, they stated we were collecting shoes for Romania's orphans...to show the love of Christ. "Please contact Brandy." I returned back to my cubicle...fidgeting.
"I can't believe I just hung that up...what are people going to think...they are going to think I'm some weird Bible beater...it's not too late to take it down."
"No, I believe in the cause...and I'm not supposed to be ashamed, even in my workplace...I am going to leave it up."
Looking back, I still remember the weakness of faith. Faith so miniscule, some may have questioned its existence.
One Year Later...
Thursday, October 19th 2006
“Sitting in O’Hare airport, an hour and a half before we board. I can’t believe this trip is finally here. God is good. Everyone is great and brings their own strengths and weaknesses. I can’t wait to see how everything unfolds. I have no doubt there is a child – a specific child in Romania for each of us to impact. Lisa told me on the bus that she wanted to sit by me because I was so excited and it would rub off on her. But I did get a wave of sadness thinking of the reality of what we will face. How will I not bring one home? Lord give me the strength.”
One Year Later...
Saturday, December 8th 2007
A few guys from a local church were completing work projects in the youth center. “I recently traveled to Romania” one of them stated. “Did you go with WDLM?” I inquired? “Yes I did.” This spawned a wild fire of stories. When he started talking about Zau, a very special orphanage that tends to capture everyone’s heart, I watched as a smile crept upon his face. “There didn’t happen to be a little boy there named Dode (Dough-Dee) was there?” “I never would have remembered his name, but yes, he was actually in my group.” He responded.
Rewind...
Thursday, October 24th 2006
“We visited Zau Orphanage today. I can’t help but to have taken in the surreal moment...sitting in an orphanage in Romania sharing my testimony and the good news of Christ. It felt so good. The girls were quiet at first but did ask questions. Three all asking the same one: How do I get Jesus in my heart?” Dave, Beth and a few others have talked to me about my job and my future. I know they believe that I have a heart and a future for orphans. I know they are right – but I do not know where. This I turn over to God. One little boy today stole my heart. Very quiet, but he came over to join me and a couple of the girls. I watched him on and off all day. When it was time to say goodbye, I was losing it – and gave out all my hugs and turned to go to the bus – and there he appeared out of nowhere armed with a hug and a beautiful smile...giving me just enough strength to board. God Bless and keep them all.”
The last hug I received from Dode.
And to think it all started with faith...as small as a mustard seed.
I still remember what it was like the day I posted signs at work to help promote the shoe drive for Shoes for Orphan Souls (through Buckner Orphan Care International). I had only recently heard about the organization and the mission after briefly tuning into the local Christian radio station. I was barely flirting with the idea of Christianity at that time, but knew that I had to take action for the cause.
I'm not a nervous person, but I quite likely shook as I was taping up the signs. After all, they stated we were collecting shoes for Romania's orphans...to show the love of Christ. "Please contact Brandy." I returned back to my cubicle...fidgeting.
"I can't believe I just hung that up...what are people going to think...they are going to think I'm some weird Bible beater...it's not too late to take it down."
"No, I believe in the cause...and I'm not supposed to be ashamed, even in my workplace...I am going to leave it up."
Looking back, I still remember the weakness of faith. Faith so miniscule, some may have questioned its existence.
One Year Later...
Thursday, October 19th 2006
“Sitting in O’Hare airport, an hour and a half before we board. I can’t believe this trip is finally here. God is good. Everyone is great and brings their own strengths and weaknesses. I can’t wait to see how everything unfolds. I have no doubt there is a child – a specific child in Romania for each of us to impact. Lisa told me on the bus that she wanted to sit by me because I was so excited and it would rub off on her. But I did get a wave of sadness thinking of the reality of what we will face. How will I not bring one home? Lord give me the strength.”
One Year Later...
Saturday, December 8th 2007
A few guys from a local church were completing work projects in the youth center. “I recently traveled to Romania” one of them stated. “Did you go with WDLM?” I inquired? “Yes I did.” This spawned a wild fire of stories. When he started talking about Zau, a very special orphanage that tends to capture everyone’s heart, I watched as a smile crept upon his face. “There didn’t happen to be a little boy there named Dode (Dough-Dee) was there?” “I never would have remembered his name, but yes, he was actually in my group.” He responded.
Rewind...
Thursday, October 24th 2006
“We visited Zau Orphanage today. I can’t help but to have taken in the surreal moment...sitting in an orphanage in Romania sharing my testimony and the good news of Christ. It felt so good. The girls were quiet at first but did ask questions. Three all asking the same one: How do I get Jesus in my heart?” Dave, Beth and a few others have talked to me about my job and my future. I know they believe that I have a heart and a future for orphans. I know they are right – but I do not know where. This I turn over to God. One little boy today stole my heart. Very quiet, but he came over to join me and a couple of the girls. I watched him on and off all day. When it was time to say goodbye, I was losing it – and gave out all my hugs and turned to go to the bus – and there he appeared out of nowhere armed with a hug and a beautiful smile...giving me just enough strength to board. God Bless and keep them all.”
The last hug I received from Dode.
And to think it all started with faith...as small as a mustard seed.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Hurry Over
Sometimes we are best to hurry over.
When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, "Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan from right where the priests stood and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight." Joshua 4:1-3
Imagine standing on dry ground...where moments before a river had flowed. "Take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan." The middle is an interesting place to pause. Middle by definition is in-between: being neither at the beginning nor at the end in a series. Halfway...often a place of sudden doubt and indecision.
It was this message that fell on my ears a few weeks ago during my Bible study. I still remember on the short drive over...asking God to give me peace on a specific issue...and then arriving to hear this message.
In between the banks of the Jordan...certainly a place of doubt and indecision. Gazing ahead to the unknown promised land...yet glancing over their shoulders to the security they were leaving behind.
"Now the priests who carried the ark remained standing in the middle of the Jordan until everything the LORD had commanded Joshua was done by the people, just as Moses had directed Joshua. The people hurried over." Joshua 4:10
Sometimes when we are contemplating the unknown promise of the future...or returning to the comfort of our past...perhaps it is best that we too...hurry over.
"And the priests came up out of the river carrying the ark of the covenant of the LORD. No sooner had they set their feet on the dry ground than the waters of the Jordan returned to their place and ran at flood stage as before." Joshua 4:18
Perhaps He is holding the waters just long enough...for us to cross.
When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, "Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan from right where the priests stood and to carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight." Joshua 4:1-3
Imagine standing on dry ground...where moments before a river had flowed. "Take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan." The middle is an interesting place to pause. Middle by definition is in-between: being neither at the beginning nor at the end in a series. Halfway...often a place of sudden doubt and indecision.
It was this message that fell on my ears a few weeks ago during my Bible study. I still remember on the short drive over...asking God to give me peace on a specific issue...and then arriving to hear this message.
In between the banks of the Jordan...certainly a place of doubt and indecision. Gazing ahead to the unknown promised land...yet glancing over their shoulders to the security they were leaving behind.
"Now the priests who carried the ark remained standing in the middle of the Jordan until everything the LORD had commanded Joshua was done by the people, just as Moses had directed Joshua. The people hurried over." Joshua 4:10
Sometimes when we are contemplating the unknown promise of the future...or returning to the comfort of our past...perhaps it is best that we too...hurry over.
"And the priests came up out of the river carrying the ark of the covenant of the LORD. No sooner had they set their feet on the dry ground than the waters of the Jordan returned to their place and ran at flood stage as before." Joshua 4:18
Perhaps He is holding the waters just long enough...for us to cross.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Adjust to a new light
13 kids...1 weekend...no power...new light.When you walk into the darkness...you can not see. Yet the longer you remain...the world around you slowly begins to reveal itself.
"Follow me...and stay connected" I encouraged the kids as our night walk began. "But we cannot see" they fearfully exclaimed. "Then you are going to have to trust me."
Bundled head to toe...we set out for a night walk throughout camp. Over stumps...under branches...through the woods...into the darkness.
Slowly...our eyes began adjusting to our surroundings. "We’re starting to see better" they excitedly exclaimed.
I think following Christ is a lot like a camp night walk. At first...darkness...unable to make sense of circumstances you can't possibly understand...faith...choosing to trust beyond what you can see...and light...slowly allowing the world around you to reveal itself with a different glow.
Turns out our night walk prepared us for what the rest of the weekend would bring...an ice storm and a loss of power and heat Saturday afternoon through Sunday morning. In the darkness...we could not see. But by the flame of 2 fireplaces...beam of 3 flashlights...and tiny flicker of battery powered tea lights for the kids...we adjusted to new light. (With all of the creativity and improvising we could muster)
As the lights clicked on after we were packed and ready to head home Sunday morning...you would have thought the kids endured World War III as the “battle stories” of survival were shared.
“Brandy...can you play “How Great is Our God” again? I love that song.” This coming from a kid who scoffed every time I asked them to sing...you never know where God is at work.
Learn to allow the faint light of the moon to guide you vs. waiting on the sun to shine.
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