Friday, January 30, 2009

How can I keep from singing?

I had read in the Bible about this concept of overflowing peace and joy. I had even heard a few authentic Christians speak of experiencing it. The story of Paul and Silas singing in prison, found in Acts 16, plagued my thoughts. I wasn't experiencing anything close to the burdens and persecution that Paul and Silas had faced, but they were still led to sing, from their prison cell. I wasn't in prison, and I wasn't singing.

This, along with a number of other life circumstances, is what led up to my faith crisis. "Either God isn't who He says He is, or I have an inaccurate view of God." In the depths of my soul, I knew my God was real, but He needed to prove himself. I was emotionally done and spiritually drained when I pulled up to the lakehouse. "Ok God...let's throw down." :)

I knew that I 'should' sing in the most detrimental of circumstances simply because of who God is, but I wondered if I would ever actually 'feel' like singing.

But upon my return home, as I walked over to grab the mic during a Rock Band session at the youth center, I thought to myself "what am I doing...I don't sing" as the lyrics poured from my mouth. (albeit without much talent...God didn't work that miracle)

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:3

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I AM

I Am Lyrics
Artist:Ginny Owens

No Lord, he said, you've got the wrong guy
Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied
And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king
Or could it be I've lost my mind

Besides, I am weak, don't you want someone strong
To lead them out of Egypt when they've been there so long
And anyway, they won’t believe You ever spoke to me
It's not your problem, God replied
And the rest is history

’Cause there's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you I will show them, I Am

Now Lord, are you sure? He's just a shepherd boy
Too small for battle gear with a giant to destroy
What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling
It's not your problem, God replied
'Cause I can do anything

There's a bigger picture you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me
'Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them

I am the first, I am the last
I am the present and the past
I am tomorrow and today
I am the only way

Great Lord, she said, I'm just a simple girl
You say that I will bring your son into the world
How can I understand this thing You're gonna do
It's not your problem, God replied

'Cause, there's a bigger picture
And you don't have to change the world (oh no)
I'm your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them
There's a bigger picture, you can't see
You don't have to change the world, just trust in me
’Cause I am your creator, I am working out my plan
And through you, I will show them, I Am
I Am

Monday, January 26, 2009

Clean up work of maturity

I have a Google alert setup on my last name "Chaffer," I did this after a distant relative of mine informed me that this was how he had occasionally kept up with my family's life. Interesting notion I thought, and my own alert was born.

However, since its fruition, not once have I been directed to anything of interest and therefore have pondered many times to deactivate the alert to remove the email nuisance. But procrastination runs deep in my veins.

This morning, something intrigued me to actually click on one of the articles. To which I found this delight:

The line that took residency in my heart was the following: "my friend jon kever leaned over to me when don finished speaking and said, "that was maturity cleaning up the talk."

Once my father reads the article, I'm sure he will chuckle at this line. It seems time and maturity have a way of bringing even the most zealous new believer into the humble and gracious hands of God.

But I do wonder, this question directed to my family and fellow Chaffer's, are we related to the mentioned Don Chaffer?

Answering the Knock at Our Door

I'm not sure I can recall a time that I've ever been more fearful as I was while I drove out to the lakehouse. I was on a mission...to "find God." And I was scared to death He wasn't going to meet me there.

When it became painstakingly obvious that I was standing smack dab in the middle of a faith crisis, those who love me advised me to take the break.

I felt like I was standing on a fraying rope in the middle of a hail storm. With the wind blowing uncontrollably around me. I closed my eyes...and rested my chin on my praying hands... "I won't let go unless you bless me." became my mantra.

The lakehouse is owned by the "adopted" (more later) parents of one of my co-workers. They open it up as a place for retreats to those they know in ministry. Therefore, it is very intentionally sprinkled with scripture and evidences of God. After a very emotional drive, with tears streaming down my face and my vocals weary from screaming at God...I arrived. In a huff...I made my way around, getting the lay of the land, turning up the heat, turning on the water, etc. As I busied myself about, the scriptures from the decor began to slowly speak. "Hmmm...looks like you decided to show up after all God." And my transformation began.

"Each of us needs an opportunity to be alone, and silent, to find space in the day or in the week, just to reflect and to listen to the voice of God that speaks deep within us. Our search for God is only our response to God’s search for us. God knocks at our door, but for many people, our lives are too preoccupied for us to be able to hear.” ~ Cardinal Basil Hume

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

Monday, January 12, 2009

I miss my friend

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever." Psalm 138:8

When you begin to walk closely with the Lord and have come to understand and experience His love and blessing firsthand, perhaps it makes His time of silence all the more painful. Quite simply put...you miss Him.

You wrestle...and fight...and pray...and cry...and blame....and question

...and you might wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.

but in His time and through His grace...you take a step...and suddenly you feel the familiar presence of a friend.

"Welcome back."


"I was always here."

"But I didn't feel you."

"Which only required you to dig deeper within your heart to find me."

You look around and begin to admire the scenery and notice a few new buds where spent blooms once remained.

"Let's rest here awhile."

In His silence...you must learn how to listen

...even when you miss Him.

From my devotion in the Psalms today...

"Your love, O Lord, endures forever." When you are on the mountain top, He loves you. When you are in the deepest, darkest valley, He loves you. He loved you before you were born. He loves you today and He will love you through all of your tomorrows. You are loved by Him.