Comes The Dawn

A poem has followed my sister and I through many trials of life. Many heartbreaks...and joys...hello's and goodbye's. It has always spoken to us on a level that doesn't require words. Many times we'd dig through our files...resurrect the poem...and hit send...often at exactly the needed moment.

It came to mind today...and I found another's perspective of the poem in my search I'd like to share...
"When I first read this poem, I was married. I didn't understand it, nor did I like it. In fact, I really didn't like it. It had no relevance to me. I was supposedly happily married at the time. After my divorce, I began to understand it's meaning. I came to realize that it is about inner strength, and learning that women have to learn not to depend on a man, or anyone else, for their happiness and fulfillment. I learned that in everyone's life there are good-byes of one kind or another. We are always saying good-bye. Spouses let us down; spouses disappoint us; spouses don't keep promises. Spouses and other loved ones die. Friends move away; friendships cool, and children grow up and leave home. They begin their own lives and aren't so much a part of ours anymore. Some stay close to us, some don't. Parents do the best they can, but most of us have some scars and issues from childhood. Eventually, they leave us, also. So, we have to build our own world, plan our own lives, and learn not to depend on anyone else except God. Most of all, we realize that we can survive if we are strong. Then, anything that comes along to make us happy is just icing on the cake." (taken from here)

Comes the Dawn

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head held high and your eyes wide open.

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine
burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure,
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn...and you learn…
with every goodbye you learn.

~Veronica A. Shoffstall

Jerry Maguire

After I joined this ministry and got my feet wet...I kept waiting for my Jerry Maguire moment. The late night where I'd sit down at my computer and start typing...the words flying out onto the screen...a night where I’d question everything...think outside the box...put everything under the microscope... a CF transformation...

Many late nights I found myself typing...no memorandum was born.

In between introductions and visits in Minneapolis...the three of us sat in a coffee shop unwinding our thoughts. We began with threads born from our visions...entwined with our reflections from the Leadership Summit...intricately woven with our experiences in MN.

The church and community in Minneapolis personified our dream...in action. We were taken under their wings...and shown a community united...the body of Christ...working as one.

We have a week before our annual staff days to finalize our thoughts and prepare to cast our vision for Rock Island...for CF. At the Leadership Conference Bill Hybels spoke about “A Vision to Die For.” Success of a vision depends on the degree individuals “own” it.

Alone...I was never going to develop a vision that Chris and Willie would be willing to die for. But together...four hours in a coffee shop later...we built a vision...we own.

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. John 10:11-15

“I feel like we just wrote our Jerry Maguire memorandum”...”You do realize Jerry lost his job when he made that proposal right Brandy?...this isn’t going to be easy”

Interview with Rick Warren

Much to share from MN Road Trip - however received this today...and it spoke to me...perhaps it will speak to someone else.

AN INTERVIEW WITH RICK WARREN (AUTHOR OF "A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE")

Interview with Rick Warren, author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal my wife or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better ...

God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD

Do they know I'm white?

Christopher and Ebony (Teen Staff) have joined me on a few adventures that pulled them out of their comfort zone: from my parents' farm, to the river, to picking vegetables from a garden, to making salsa. Each time I introduce a new experience...or new location...or new people...I've gotten the same question before we go..."do they know we're black?" To which I get this panicked look in my eye..."oh man...I forgot to tell them". :) I'm kidding...although I actually have said that to them once...for a laugh...but usually I immediately tell them not to be ridiculous - as if color makes a difference.

Chris, Willie and I are taking off tomorrow morning to visit a youth center and then a Hip Hop Church in Minneapolis. We are looking to glean ideas on what's working...and see what we may be able to implement in Rock Island. Chris set up the trip details concerning the church...where he ran into overwhelming hospitality...and an invite to discuss programming, attend a Hip Hop concert and worship service, stay the night with the Youth Program Director and his wife, and attend church services Sunday morning. As I was preparing for the trip...and imagining attending a Hip Hop concert and worship service...a tiny thought popped into my head...I wonder if they know I'm white? What a stupid thought right? I let it remain a thought...but if I know Chris, had I asked...his response to me would be in the "oh man...I forgot to tell them" realm. :) I know...stop being ridiculous - as if color makes a difference.

I guess that is the difference of them being out of their comfort zone...and me out of mine - me out of mine...makes me understand a little bit better...them out of theirs. But I’m honestly psyched about the Hip Hop service!

Two Years

Monday night, I prayed a prayer in a different way than I ever have before...prompted by Beth Moore's message on Faithfulness. Perhaps I will be pointing back to this fact in the days...months...years that lie ahead.

I forgot how much the kids energize me. I decided to start a discipleship group this fall with a handful of the 5th and 6th graders. A core group emerged this summer with an amazing desire to dive deeper into God's word...demonstrating leadership capabilities. This isn't something that comes along often...especially in this ministry...it is something that you latch onto. A few of the kids were available to meet tonight so we had our first informal meeting, reviewed the scriptures where Jesus appointed his disciples, and of course ended in a fierce game of Knock Out. "I love this group"..."We should make up a rap about spreading the word...because that's what we'll be doing". Moments like these...need to be recorded...because all I could do...is wonder...why has God blessed me so richly with these kids.

Earlier today Chris and I met with someone that God has placed a clear burden for these youth on their heart...someone in a position with the potential to make a real impact. As we shared a "vision" that we couldn't even completely get our arms around...restrained excitement brewed. We committed to faithfully praying for what the future may bring...not for our plans...but for God's will...

For those of you who receive the CF Newsletter, you will see an article from Mark Drake, the Executive Director...It was 1988 when Mark was joining CF and told Miss Betty that he was only going to stay for 2 years, as to which she responded..."Oh goody...that is what I said 42 years ago!" Mark and his wife Sarah are starting their 20th year with CF. I came in with the same 2 year minimum commitment...skeptical I could or would fulfill it...to a couple months in...knowing for sure that I wouldn't...to a few more months in...simply reading this...and smiling. It does make you wonder what two years will become.

Faithfulness

Do you base your faith on what Goes does or who He is? Tonight's Bible study uncovered the depths of faithfulness.

I was recently questioned how I can claim that God never lets you down. After all, how can I explain a handicapped child...or worse...the death of a child? Quite frankly...I can't. But since my eyes have been opened to God's faithfulness...I no longer need to.

At the Leadership Summit, we met a boy who was born without eyes and with a crippling disease that robbed him of ever walking. At two his parents discovered his extraordinary ability to play the piano. This talent grew into playing classical acts and joining a college marching band, playing the trumpet, while his dad keeps formation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qTiYA1WiY8

Darkness fell across the stage...and the spotlight highlighted the piano...where Patrick Hughes serenaded us to Brooks & Dunn - Believe: "I raised my hands, bow my head...And finding more and more truth...In the words written in red...They tell me that there's more to life...Than just what I can see, oooh, I believe." Without a dry eye in the place...we didn't question why he was born this way.

Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us that God's thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are our ways His ways and just as the heavens are higher than the earth so are His ways higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts.

Quoting from Beth Moore: "What about those times when God does not work according to your requests or expectations? What about those times when He obviously allows your loved one with cancer to glorify Him through restoration in heaven and not on earth? What happens to your faith when a child dies? If your faith is based on what God is doing, you are in for the scariest ride of your life. We will rarely be able to perceive God's actions, though they will always and ultimately be wonderful. They are beyond our earthly understanding. In the times when He seems inactive, He may be accomplishing more than ever! You see, a "what God does" faith is really not faith at all. Although it is focused on God, it is still born in the realm of the obvious, or that which is seen.”

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Genuine faith is based on who God is. Tonight we were left with a thought...often times we are all for God changing our circumstances...when God is all for changing us.

You got my back

After the Leadership Summit, the staff takes a mandatory shutdown week and both youth centers are closed down. It is a chance to reflect on the conference...the summer...and take a deep breath before plunging into the fall. After a couple days away from it all...it started sinking in...I miss them. The kids...even the worst ones...I miss them.
Tonight I "cheated" and took a few to the New Windsor Rodeo...meeting my parents there.
It was a first for all of them so we did it up right with a mix of the rodeo, rides and cotton candy.

Rodeo, 12 years and under...free...
Jumbo bag of cotton candy...5 dollars...
4 sets of sticky fingers fast asleep on their way home...priceless.

"Brandy...I'm just making sure that you'll be alright taking the kids home tonight by yourself...although I know you'll say that you will be no matter what"..."Yes mom...I'll be fine."

(Although I do admit each time I pull into Century Woods I shoot a quick prayer up..."Alright God...you got my back")

Who can you learn from?

"It's my fiercest determination to keep putting faculty line-ups together that make a portion of you get your underwear in a bundle." Willow Creek Community Church Senior Pastor, Bill Hybels challenged our perceptions on who we can learn from.

Can marketplace people learn from pastors...can pastors learn from marketplace people? The speaker line up included: senior pastors, a Harvard Business School professor, a former Secretary of State, an Oscar-nominated screenwriter, and a former president, among others.

"I know some leaders who can only learn from people who are pretty much like them...think like them...pray like them...vote like them...see the world the way they do. Whenever I see a leader like that I feel sorry for the leader and I feel even worse for his or her followers."

The CF staff attended the 2007 Leadership Summit held at Willow Creek Community Church. The Summit was nothing short of phenomenal...for church leaders and business leaders alike. If you are in any sort of leadership position and find yourself reading this...simply said...go. http://wall.willowcreek.com/leaders/

Challenge yourself by asking...who can you learn from?

Goodbye Christina

"I want to go to heaven"..."yeah...me too" Christina was on her way home from church...with two very troubled boys she had taken under her wing this summer. She pulled over to talk with the boys. "Yeah...we want Jesus in our hearts"...so they prayed...in the backseat of the car...and accepted Jesus...and Christina's summer internship came to an end.

She will be deeply missed as she returns to school. I don't know another's heart so devoted to these kids. There are many lines she became known for this summer...but perhaps her most famous was "Let's go visit kids"...spoken during any downtime at the center...and away we'd go...or away she'd go...pulling into their neighborhoods...infiltrating their lives...

We pulled out of Century Woods..."I'm going to miss that place" she whispered through broken tears. I doubt many...if any...have ever said that. God Bless her.

The Greatest Compliment

A few errands...first HyVee...

"Hey Amari...how are you??"..."Good...when can I come to the center?"..."Soon...I'll call you."

Around to the back aisle..."Hi Nikki...miss camp?"..."Yeah"...she replies followed by a simple smile.

Onto McDonalds..."Selinda...I haven't seen you in so long!"

..."Well hey Daqualan...how come you didn't make it out to camp?"

..."Justice...hey man...miss camp? Ready for Friday night clubs again?"

Down to Century Woods...they take the van by storm...

"Do you want to come in and see our baby sister?" Kataya and Katia ask..."Sure...I'd love to".

In their neighborhoods...in their lives...I can't imagine where else I'd rather be.

"I think very few people are actually happy...are you happy Brandy?" Christopher (Teen Staff) inquired...I pause...exhale..."Yeah...perhaps for the first time I can honestly say that I'm genuinely happy." He nods..."Yeah...I can tell." I'm not sure I've ever received a greater compliment.

Having thrown out “success”...dwindled finances...unanswered questions...and unreached goals...

happy

...go figure.