Home Again

I stood in front of the picture that hangs above my fireplace tonight and soaked in the faces as they stared back at me. I didn't want them to penetrate my soul as deeply as they did...but that didn't stop them.

I had just gotten off the phone...from an incredibly exciting conversation regarding future ministry possibilities...yet when I hung up I almost instantly began to cry...weep really. And I had no idea why. There was such joy surrounding my soul...but it was laced with the weightiness of heartbreak...perhaps for the vast need that exists in the world...and probably fear...for God asking me to do something about it.

I guess it comes with the territory sometimes.

I spent 30 minutes driving up and down the streets of Rock Island last week with one of the boys, searching for his brother before church. A couple days later when I picked them up after school...I lovingly let him know I was less than impressed. This isn't the first time he has blown me off since I've been home.

"Remember the promise you made to me...that even when you got older and 'too cool' for church...that you would continue to come anyway." I nudged...

Looking me straight in the eye he responded..."Brandy...you were gone all year...that promise got old."

I didn't want his words to cut like a knife...but they did.

But because the kid has a heart the size of Texas and an understanding and interest in missions...I knew I had a leg to stand on.

"Tyvon I hardly abandoned you...I was doing missions for Jesus."

He let his head sink into his lap...and through a muffled and seemingly defeated...yet sincere voice came his response..."Yeah" he paused..."I know".

While he hid his face, I hid my tears.

It feels good to be back in the neighborhood, to walk into the youth center and see Sr. High boys who shouldn't care less that I'm back in town paint a smile across their face when they see me.

They shouldn't care...but they do.