Failure...we fear it...avoid it...run from it...and deny it...but sooner or later we run directly into it. Failure.
I battled a regret in my life...from my past...which had remained unsettled. As I allowed God to heal bits and pieces...I anticipated the day when I would come to peace with it. But as I learned to accept it...move past it...and be forgiven for it...I never came to understand it.
Yesterday we had an all day staff meeting to discuss ministry progress and vision. Our Executive Director suggested we start the day by taking quiet time with God (something we all desperately needed). We headed to the library...armed with inspirational books, Bibles and coffee. I searched out my cozy corner next to the window and settled in..."Ok God...I'm drained and distant...confused and overwhelmed...bring me back to you...work on my heart this morning." I began reading...journaling...praying. I wanted to focus on ministry...but my heart was distracted by unsettled regret. Finally I stopped reading..."What do you want from me Lord? I genuinely do not feel like you are calling me backwards, but I cannot find peace...I don't feel freed from my past because I do not understand it.” Ok...try this again...I began reading...but soon paused again when I came across the following question: "Looking back over the last ten years of your life, what do you wish you had not quit?" Hmmmm...
I kept reading.
"Most of us try not to think about our failures any more than we have to, and Scripture itself advises us not to live in the past. But occasionally it pays to consider the high cost of quitting. So many people live with scars or lingering wounds from having quit on something or someone. So many look back on their lives, shake their heads and ask, "Why did I cash in so easily?" The answer is obvious: it is infinitely easier to quit than to endure." (Who You Are When No One's Looking by Bill Hybels)
I paused...just long enough to hear God speak..."Dear child...you did fail...you quit...but stop looking at it through the eyes of regret. Remember the pain of quitting...count the cost of quitting...
...and don't quit on me now.”
"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14
For the first time...understanding swept through me.
It is not about looking backwards on regret, it is about looking forward and building a character to endure.
What...or who...are you considering quitting?
"Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life" James 1:12
3 comments:
WOW! I cant tell you how much that speaks to me. Thank you so much for sharing it. See you Wed.:)
I feel as though I want to quit a lot of things, a lot of the time. Go hide in a corner away from responsibilities and expectations and just 'be' for a while.
It's just easier to quit then to carry on you know?...though 9 times out of 10 the reward is that much better when we hold on. Giving up is a bad habit to get into.
You are very much correct that we need to remember the pain and cost of quitting and that's it...just remembering is pain enough. God defining us through our failures really hurts sometimes but boy, we do remember the hurt more then anything else.
The future is much easier to face when we aren't constantly looking behind us anguishing about things we can't change anymore.
Thank you once again for sharing. (:
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