Christmas...for me.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

I remember how much Good Friday impacted me this year. It was the first time I experienced Easter weekend fully realizing the impact of Christ's sacrifice...and what it meant to me. I imagined standing at the foot of the cross as his mother did...absorbed with grief...while others scorned him. I imagined how much his words spoken from the cross would have penetrated me. I imagined darkness falling mid-day...as he breathed his last breath. I imagined being consumed by the loss...he willingly endured. I'm not sure I would have found the strength to move in those moments that followed. Amidst my reflections...I somberly left the evening church service into the darkness...it was the first time I realized what Jesus had actually done...for me.

As this holiday season crept upon us...I wondered how Christmas would feel.

Earlier this month, the Rock Island Teen Director, Chris and his wife had their first child...a precious baby girl named Jada. Tiny fingers...tiny toes...wide eyes...filled with innocence and dependence. Perfectly emulating the true miracle of new life.

This past Saturday night, we had a Christmas party for the 5th-12th grade youth. The center was packed...with 70 kids in the house. When it came time for message...the ice storm outside helped us keep our attendance (the rougher youth have a tendency to walk home vs. staying for message)...Chris began by holding up a picture of his baby girl. Of course the room was at half attention...some ears honing in...while others scorned and scoffed at hearing the Christmas message. But, he went on..."honestly when I look at her...I'm not sure I could give her up. I'm not sure I could sacrifice her...for people who don't understand...people...who don't even care...but that is what God did...when he sent his only son."

For the first time I considered how much God must have loved Jesus...I imagined Mary first peering at that precious baby boy. I imagined his tiny fingers and toes...his wide eyes...his dependence and innocence. But then I paused...and I imagined his purpose. Sent to walk among us...sent to die for us. Chris's words came back to me, "I'm not sure I could sacrifice her...for people who don't understand...people...who don't even care." As I looked around the room...I realized it was full of these people...but as I reflected...I realized I used to be one of them. And that precious child was sent...to die...for me.

In the midst of his torture...in the midst of his sacrifice...from the cross...Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34

This is Christmas...for me.