P.S. Done pruning yet?

I’m developing a funny relationship with God. I’m starting to talk, pray and journal to him as though he is actually one of my closest friends. Nonchalant, down to earth, laying it all out on the table as it really is. Don’t get me wrong, I also have those moments when I’m so caught up in his glory and his wonder that I struggle with the right words to even begin to praise him. But today...we’re just chatting.

I’m sitting in a local coffee shop...paying no attention to the slow...seemingly “regular” lunch crowd...or the espresso machine at full steam in the background. Nope, today it’s just God and me. But no worries...by chatting...I actually mean I’m journaling...I save ranting for more private settings. ;)

I start reflecting on my bible study from yesterday morning, when I was sharing with the gals that God must get a continued kick out of my rollercoaster prayers. On the days when my faith is on fire, I actually pray God will use whatever means...tests and trials necessary to cleanse out the ugly “self” stuff I struggle with. You know...my selfish nature...my pride...stubbornness...oh goodness that list could go on. So I wholeheartedly give him permission to do a walk through my life and take a scour brush where he sees fit. But there are just as many days when I find myself face down on my knees...pleading with him give me a break...shed a little light...or the most popular...throw me a bone.

(I’m not sure God really waits for my permission or retraction to continue with his work, but somehow it gives me comfort just the same.)

Today, I pick up my devotion and begin reading...“What would you think if your best friend told you that she thought you needed to endure a long, intense and difficult trial so that God could prune away some of the sin in your life? You would probably think she was crazy! What if she persisted and said that you would perform your job as a mother, wife, teacher or saleswoman better after your trial was over? Which of us would willingly submit to those pruning shears, and which of us would turn, run and hide?”

For me...it depends on the day. Truthfully...if I knew the challenges and trials I would face before entering this ministry...I hate to admit...I don’t think I would have taken the leap. But would I go back now that I've come this far? Not in a million.

Still I find myself leaving God a little P.S. at the bottom of my entry...

P.S. Done pruning yet? :)

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”
John 15:1-2