"Sometimes I feel like I was called into ministry too soon"...I admitted to my boss. And I do. I was just beginning to get my feet wet into what it meant to be a Christian...when I jumped into the fire.
I've been battling with God recently. On a very personal level.
John Perkins spoke at the CCDA conference, and as he referenced a child whom he'd lost before his time...he said that it was ok to be mad at God...He can handle it. I'm not sure mad is the right word...but it's not wrong either.
I received an email with a picture message that has stuck with me...an individual carrying his cross...and as the burden got too heavy to bear...he would cut a piece off to lighten the load...a little further down the road...as it got rough...another piece would come off...this happened several times along his path...until the burden wasn’t so heavy to carry. But as he reached the end of his road...he came across a deep ravine that needed crossing. He watched as others around him used their crosses as bridges to pass through to the other side. However as he threw his across the ravine, he realized due to his lightened load...it was not long enough to cross. He had endured an easier journey...only to miss the destination.
When I'm being tested the most...I am careful of my prayer life...not for a lighter burden...but the strength to carry my cross...as it was given.
1 comment:
The best things about these battles is that in one way, they are battles of the old vs. the new. Its our old ways of our former selves trying to fight against our new found faith driven selves.
You can take a step back from these fights and look at it from the eyes of yourself 1, 2, 5, 10 years ago and say, "Wow, I've come a long way and its only because of you God."
The fact that we battle and not simply give in, is saying that God has worked and is currently working fervently inside you. AWESOME!
Carrying our crosses for God as Jesus called us to in Luke is NEVER a easy task, but it is never one we have to do alone...be it friends, family, or whomever. Someone will be there to help, especially God to help carry that cross.
Isaiah 41:10
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