What sold me on following Christ? I distinctly remember two days in particular...probably separated by a year.
The first was the day I pulled over my car after realizing that I wasn't happy with how my life had turned out with myself in control. And I heard this promise...put Christ in control of your life...and experience a peace like no other. Truthfully, I made the decision out of desperation and without understanding. But I made it just the same.
I didn't really tell any mature Christians about the decision who could have coached me in developing a relationship with Christ. So I seemingly floundered about...happy with my decision but not fully understanding the impact on my life. I lived the next year of my life virtually in the same lifestyle I had come accustomed to through the years, yet with a new desire to seek God.
The second day I remember was a different kind of decision entirely. Sometimes we have to hit bottom before we realize we need to look up. I had allowed my selfish desires and poor lifestyle choices to abruptly kick me lower than I ever thought I would land. And I had a decision to make...what am I to do from there? I remember feeling battered and bruised...and asking...God, will you still take me like this? Can you still use me?" I said a different kind of prayer that morning...one of equal desperation as the first...but it was painted with surrender...willing to finally give up those areas of my life I thought were so sacred to hold onto. A woman recently shared the following thought..."Jesus is a gentleman...and he won't change areas of your heart and life until you first give him permission." There's something incredibly profound about this statement as I've experienced it's truth firsthand. When I was finally willing to allow Christ into all areas of my life...not just the convenient ones...I began to be transformed.
But surrender, I've found, is a daily decision. One I have never regretted, but not always an easy one. And there is a continuous temptation to go back. There's a song that reminds me of my battle of surrender...by the Ryan Montbleau Band...75 and Sunny. I smile at the lyrics as I relate to fighting my daytime self with a mighty does of "hey look at nighttime me." :)
I started a new Bible study, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. A scary realization of how easily we can be tempted away.
I am fearful, lest that even as the serpent beguiled Eve by his cunning, so your minds may be corrupted and seduced from wholehearted and sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3, AMP
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Permission to comment on my own post? :) I've somehow found restored joy today. And as I review my notes from the Bible study this week and notes from the theology class I recently attended...two points stand out to me. The first is that fact that Satan tries convincing us that everything about following God is a sacrifice - boy can I attest to this. The second is much deeper and takes a look at the first glimpse of God we get in Genesis and his first three "commands" to humanity. They go something like this: "be fruitful and multiply", "have dominion over the earth", and "I have given you every green plant for food." Now if this was your only image of God...how would you describe him? Let's call him a "yes" God as he seems to give without bounds. But often times, we get tainted by the belief that we serve a "no" God and we focus on what we can't do by serving him. Looking back to Genesis, the first "no" command I see is that found in Genesis 2:16 in which He warns, eat from any tree, except for this one, because you'll surely die. Kind of like a parent warns, play in the yard but don't cross the road. This doesn't make him a "no" God but a protective God...but Satan would like us to believe differently. Instead of believing our Father knows what is best for us, we often rebel. Anyway back to my notes and my second point "If you're serving a "no" God we try to smuggle in our desires" versus serving a "yes" God and trusting He will give us what is best for our lives. Which God do you serve?
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