Maybe

The brutality of the crucifixion...the miracle of the resurrection.

Unappreciated...

or perhaps completely lost

to me anyway.

Until I looked...

(I mean really looked)

at the cross

from the foot

without separation

without distortion.

In an instant...there it was.

Had it been there all along?

How could I not have known?

How could you not have told me?

Grace...Amazing Grace

There for me?

Waiting...

and all I had to do was look...

and I was given new eyes

to see.

I've carried a quote with me in my thoughts since the night I watched Fireproof. It was captured in a conversation between the father character and his son...where the father admits..."The cross was offensive to me until I came to it."

Perhaps our view of the cross has been distorted from a distance...for many circumstances...and people...even churches...have gotten in the way of our view. But when we choose to sit at the very foot of the thing and gaze upon it for ourselves...maybe...just maybe...we'll start to see it for what it actually is...not what the world has done to it.

maybe it would become less offensive

maybe it would look like grace

maybe it would feel like love

flowing down

from the hands and feet

nailed to a tree

maybe it would cover you

as it covers me

maybe

The Secret is Out

She leaned over to whisper a secret to her big sister...“Guess what sissie...I gave my life to Christ today.” “That’s awesome!” Her sister exclaimed and her small, quiet voice continued...“yeah...we got forgiven from God.”

As I sat with the fourth grade twins in Bible study only a few hours earlier, one of them asked the question...“Do we have to get baptized to have our sins washed away?” I led into my best presentation of the Gospel and explained the difference between believing and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior and the purpose of getting baptized. When I got done, she excitedly asked...“Can we pray that prayer today?” Her twin echoed the desire. “Absolutely!” I said with a smile.

Each devotional we do ends with a prayer that I let the girls lead. As God’s timing would have it, that day the prayer box instructed: “If you have never trusted in Jesus as your Savior, you can do that right now.” “We just did that!” they exclaimed.

“Shhhhhhhh….but don’t tell anyone.” they whispered to their older sister.

“Why not?” she asked...

“Because WE want to!”

She Speaks Scholarship Contest

"If you want to make God laugh...tell Him your plans."

Oh how my life has become a testament to the accuracy of this little quote. I never planned on it being that way and certainly would not have set out towards the goal...but change it? Not for the world.

You see when life hurts...life happens. When life happens...love buds. When love buds...God blossoms. And when God blossoms...our hurts are healed. Only in these moments, may we choose to take the lives we've been given...and graciously give them back to Him.

Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." Luke 8:48

In this peace, He revealed a hidden treasure buried deep within my heart...uncovered after the layers of hurt were finally healed, patiently waiting there all along...

...a passion to write.
The seed was planted nearly a year ago when I stumbled across the She Speaks Conference website. She Speaks is part of Proverbs 31 Ministries. The conference promises to be a life-changing experience for women of all generations, equipping attendees to more effectively share the Word of God and reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.

My heart skipped a beat when I discovered that they are offering a She Speaks Scholarship Contest for Bloggers. Winning the scholarship would be a huge financial blessing on my ministry salary, but more importantly it would confirm my calling to be there and discover His plans for this new dream and begin writing the story He's already written.

This blog post serves as my contest entry, prayers welcome! :)

I started out in life, believing there must be a God
...but I never thought I’d live for Him.

I started out in Corporate America, planning to climb the ladder
...but I never thought I’d jump from it.

I started out in faith, traveling around the world to show His love
...but I never knew His love would be shown to me.

I started out in ministry, hoping to help broken lives become whole
...but I never knew the most broken life would be mine.

I started out in school, hating to read and write
...but I never dreamed God would write a story with my life.

I started out in writing, fearful to begin
...but I then realized...it already had.

Unexpected Happiness

A rainy day often calls for the comfort of a couch and a movie. Wrapped under a handmade blanket from my mother...I found myself in joyful tears as the credits for "Saving Sarah Cain" rolled. I walked upstairs to the newly occupied loft...decorated with traces of adolescence...and smiled at the irony of the movie with the timing of my new roommate. As I stood there and considered moving the empty boxes to the garage, I was swept by emotion...of gratitude.

For someone who has grown accustomed to the refuge living alone provides....the idea of this young girl sharing my roof...brings absolute joy.

I walked back to my room and found a card nestled on my bed..."Thank you for opening up your home to me...especially on such short notice!"...signed with a smiley face and a heart.

The circumstances that have brought her here must feel more like a storm than a blessing...but as the cover for the movie proclaims..."Happiness comes when you least expect it."

"Our inner happiness depends not on what we experience but on the degree of our gratitude to God, whatever the experience." ~ Albert Schweitzer

a Sunday blessing

Sundays do not pass without the true awareness of the blessings they bring.

As my phone rings, often much earlier than desired...I roll over and answer it with a smile...knowing full well who's voice will be on the other end..."you picking us up for church today Brandy?"..."you know I am...see you around 10."

A few hours later, as we roll into church, I am quite certain that we are the only vehicle coming from the West End of Rock Island singing to the likes of Roger Miller. And it makes this country girl's heart smile. :)

After I check the boys into the children's wing...I join the others in the sanctuary...and our row begins to fill as the first songs of worship infuse the air.

From my teen girls...to Chris and his wife and their posse of teen boys...to our other church and ministry friends...our row is complete. And as I glanced down it today...a childhood quote my dad favored, popped into my head "what a motley looking crew." I considered the diversity of our backgrounds..."no way should this group of individuals be standing here together" I thought. And almost immediately I was hit by the reality that we wouldn't be...if somewhere along the way we hadn't all individually fallen in love with Jesus Christ.

We gather after church for food and fellowship...and count our blessings...and say our prayers...all grateful for the group...that Jesus built. :)

THANK YOU for everyone who has made possible my calling into full-time ministry...it is because of you...every Sunday...I am blessed.

God wants you happy?

I recently got to prepare and deliver a message for our teens, tearing down the Urban Legend that "God wants you happy." On the surface, this may not sound like an "Urban Legend" at all but an accurate view of God. But let's pause for a moment and consider another perspective.

Happiness is based on happenings.

And the reality is that we live in a broken and fallen world, our nightly news tells the tale.

Still, sometimes our happenings do in fact make us happy.

But other times our happenings come with real pain and suffering...and leave us in sorrow.

It is these times which begs the question...if God wants me happy...and I'm not...did He fail me?

There inlies the danger of believing this Urban Legend.

Is it possible to find peace and contentment amidst the sorrow of heartache?

Is it possible to live with lasting joy, regardless of circumstances?

Was Paul "happy" after he had been severely flogged and thrown in prison for his faith and teachings? I think not. Yet we see in Acts 16 that he had joy enough to begin praying and singing hymns to our God from his prison cell.

I've recently begun to dabble in this kind of joy.

This side of heaven will come with its hosts of trials and heartaches that quite frankly will not make us "happy"...but the more I understand about the heart of God...the more I believe that He wants us more than happy...He wants us blessed...

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
Matthew 5:3-12

As I finished the message, I could literally see and feel some of our teen's sorrow...for it was painted across their faces...and rooted deep in my heart. So I watched...and I waited...for them to process...some for the first time...that God was with them in their pain...He had not caused it...while He had allowed it...and they began to understand...that God just may have a plan to use it...and for that...they would be comforted...they would be blessed.

Around the bend

“One thing is clear: God won’t be rushed. Without a willingness to wait, we will be regularly frustrated with God and may become disillusioned with our faith. God never promises us that our present circumstances will always make sense. Sometimes, we’ll have to wait until the present becomes the past before what we are going through becomes even remotely understandable.” ~Gary Thomas

There is something that sits profoundly well in my soul with this statement. If you believe the creator of the universe is all-knowing, perhaps it is worth considering that he can see past the wall that has blocked your view. When we look at our own circumstances, we can only see what is directly before us, not what is down the road. Instead of questioning Him, maybe it is time that we consider trusting Him. The Lord God Almighty who created you out of love...knows what is best for you...and will use all circumstances for good and for His glory.

He can see around the bend.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. Matthew 7:9-12