Storms...

I do not remember a time of my life when I have felt so blessed. Awhile ago during a Bible study, we discussed how people are either going through a storm, just getting out of a storm, or another storm is on its way. One might ask...why so many storms?

As much as I would like to think that I can learn from other people's mistakes and experiences, (and to some degree I can)...the real lessons are learned when my own world is storming. The first year of ministry has been perhaps the most trying year of my life. Somewhere along the way, I actually sat and wrote a list of the many things I felt God was trying to cleanse from me. It was an ugly list, with the front-runners including pride and selfishness and self-reliance (no dependence on God). And as I looked at the list several months into my struggles, I wondered how much longer they would battle. After all, I was growing weary. Many a night I spent in tears begging God to remove the weight of it all...but I always heard him say..."it’s not time yet child." And slowly...one by one...those ugly attributes began to surrender.

I did not welcome the storm...but I am a better person because it came to pass.

I thought "self-sufficient, driven, highly-motivated Brandy" was going to impact the West End of Rock Island...boy did I misgauge when that girl was humbly brought to her knees. In one of the many books I am currently reading while I pursue an Urban Youth Ministry Certificate...the following sentence sprung from the page..."The Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self." (In the Name of Jesus, Nouwen)

I was literally stripped down over this past year...until the only being which remained was that of my own vulnerable self...with nothing else left to offer. And it was that being that God began to bless. Pieces of this ministry, community and neighborhood are falling into place in a way words can not describe. During a summer planning session with many organizations from the area, one lady commented, “You guys are starting to give me goose bumps”...as the walls of competition fell and the foundation of community collaboration was laid.

They are apparently calling snow once again this weekend. :( But regardless of the storm...I'm going to run in the sunshine...dance in the rain...or make a snow angel once again. It's not storming in my world.